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Dear Reader A Bright, bright, sun-shiny dayFor the past few weeks Neil and I have both succumbed to this terrible cold that seems to be plaguing half our little community. Then I woke one morning feeling like the clouds were lifting. My cough wasn’t so bad. My head, not so achy. I started doing little things around the house – decluttering a shelf, filling some bags for recycling, dusting. Not much, not all at once, but little things that made me feel like the sun was going to shine again. Neil recovered more quickly than I did. He suggested a drive out to Raglan, a walk along the beach, lunch at a cafe – and my soul called out “Yes!” It was just what I needed. Raglan, about forty minutes drive west of Hamilton has always been my go-to feel-good place ever since we arrived in NZ in 1978. Trees and water – my soul foods when I’m sad, afraid, recovering from life’s challenges. And it didn’t disappoint this time.
It might be the negative ions or it might be the clarity of the air or it just might be a change of scenery – I definitely felt energised standing on the beach breating in the view and the fresh air. And memories surfaced of my time working as a town planner and my visits to Raglan. The road above the beach is lined with Pohutakawa – you might recognise it as the New Zealand Christmas tree. Crimson blossoms adorn the skyline from about November. No blossoms at the moment but its beauty is still impressive. This photo shows the remarkable ability and strength of the Pohutakawa clinging to the cliffs. It’s growth is typical of the coastal protection qualities of these trees.
It’s trees and water that feed my soul ever since I was a little girl. Now I live by the Waikato River, walk among the trees lining its banks and enjoy living in a city where the local council maintains over 100,000 trees across local parks, roadside verges, and reserves. This is nearly one tree for every two Hamilton residents. I’ve long been grateful for the opportunity I had to be a planner here, benefitting greatly in my role from the policies established the 1970s and earlier that set aside about a third of urban land as open space. Planning for urban growth was easier with these policies already established in the expectations of Hamilton residents. These days, however, with current intensifying urban development, this ratio is being challenged. Yet some policies still encourage and provide for revegetation and public access to green space. A visit to Raglan and home againWe came back from our short visit to Raglan refreshed and with renewed gratitude and appreciation for the environment around us – all within a few minutes walk. And gratitude for the people I worked with and who came before me with their vision and resilience to bring that vision into a legacy visitors and residents can enjoy for generations to come. When you visit Hamilton /:) check out these two locations that have a particular place in my heart: https://hamilton.govt.nz/community-spaces/finding-walkways-and/detail/waiwhakareke-natural-heritage-park-walkway and https://hamiltongardens.co.nz/ and soak in the joy of being in nature preserved by hands and hearts of visionaries. With love, always, Ages of Pages Book Fair – Hamilton, NZ May 1st 2027
I’m getting in early to invite you to the Ages of Pages Book Fair 2027! If things go haywire for me, at least you’ll have this invite to refer to earlier to the time. I’ll be there and so will my daughter Phoebe. Along with over 140 other authors and book vendors. Once the website for 2027 is up I’ll share the link here. In the meantime, I’m keeping this invite up on the newsletter. Why I Write – for you and for me too. Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart. I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward. I write to bring a little encouragement, comfort and joy into my life and yours. With love, My thoughts for Living Life in 2026 and beyond: “My religion is kindness” Dalai Lama “Cast your bread upon the waters and it will Doris May Payne – my mother “Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing” Helen Keller “Write it on my heart that every day is Ralph Waldo Emerson “Remember that sometimes not getting “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them, http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com
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Author: Stephanie Hammond
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A visit to the coast to clear the fog of winter bugs
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Out of the mouths of babes.
Dear Reader
Every year around this time …
… I remember that nineteen years ago I was on a Buddhist pilgrimage with a group from California where I was living at the time. This trip had been planned by the group for years. I was a last minute addition when a place in the trip opened up unexpectedly. I didn’t know why at the time, but I soon realised it was one of those events that in hindsight turned my life along a totally different path.
At the time I was looking for direction, for a purpose for my life. Surely in India I would find the spiritual direction to give my heart peace and my actions purpose.
But it wasn’t until we were well into our journey and after meeting many enlightened folk and having many spiritual experiences that my answers came.
At this time we were in Ladakh, about 12,000 feet high in the Himalayas. The altitude felt very familiar and peaceful to me. Where some loved the majesty of the mountains, it was the expanse of the plains we saw on our drive from Manali to Leh that spoke to my soul. I imagined herding yak and riding horses there, being part of that community and breathing the fresh air – it sounded heavenly to me.
After a few days in Leh, we trekked up a steep path to the Hemis Monastery, about 45 kilometres southeast of Leh. Our mission was to spend the night in the Hemis cave and meditate.
There was something other-worldly about being with a group in a cave where it was assumed Jesus had meditated nearly 2,000 years ago. I wasn’t then, and still am not, a great meditator. But I was happy to join in the peace and tranquility of the cave.
A visit from Jimmy
A couple of years before our visit to the Hemis cave, seven-month-old Jimmy, a grandbaby I hadn’t been able to meet, died.
Although I hadn’t met him, at his tangi (a traditional Maori funeral) I was able to sit beside him, holding his hand for hours. During this time I got to know him and feel his sweet spirit.
Jimmy My companions warned me that many had spiritual experiences in this particular cave. In fact, that was why we were there. I wasn’t expecting anything particularly enlightening for me.
However, as I meditated, Jimmy, older now, appeared beside me, tugging at my hand. “Come with me, Grandma, come with me!” he pleaded. He led me through a labyrinth of passageways until we were on a ledge overlooking a valley.
In the valley were thousands of people, heads down and I felt an enormous amount of sadness emanating from them.
Jimmy pointed at them and told me, “That’s your job, Grandma, that’s your job.”
And then I was back in my spot in the cave wondering, agonising, over what did it mean – my job to change those wounded folk’s stories to bring them joy?
You got it Grandma!
My heart filled with love, not in a quiet way, but like a bolt from the blue – and that’s how I knew what my job was. “It’s love,” I told my friend. “I can do that.” And then dear Jimmy was beside me again, dancing around shouting out in joy “You got it, Grandma! You got it!”
I didn’t sleep in the cave that night. One of the group wasn’t well and I volunteered to walk down the track with her and go back to our hotel in Lei.
A baby sign in the rock
We stopped on our walk a few times to catch our breath and take it easy. On one stop we both noticed what appeared to be a baby’s footprint stamped in a rock on the side of the path.
To us both it was a reminder of our babies – her granddaughter and my Jimmy. That lifted our spirits, gave us the energy to keep going.
Good news – a baby is born
Back at the hotel, an email was waiting for me. A new baby had arrived and I realised that the footprint in the rock had multiple meanings – my friend’s grandbaby, Jimmy, and now great grandson, baby Spencer.
Spencer Every year since then, on Spencer’s birthday, I remember the cave, Jimmy’s visit and the footprint in the rock. I am remindedI was challenged to do my job – to love. Spencer is a young man now and although Jimmy is long gone, Spencer’s life is a witness that love abounds and is all that matters in life.
Every so often I check in with myself and that valley that represents, symbolically, everyone I come in contact with over the course of my day. I don’t love perfectly, but I do believe in the far reaching positive effects acts of kindness and love can have on an impossible number of people.
That’s my job: to make sure my next interaction comes with a loving intent. That I’m more successful than not fills me with peace..
Life’s blessed me with lots of opportunities, some might say “challenges”, to practise love. What about you? Do you also have a measure of success, and many failures?Proves we’re all human eh?With love, always,
StephanieAges of Pages Book Fair – Hamilton, NZ May 1st 2027
I’m getting in early to invite you to the Ages of Pages Book Fair 2027! If things go haywire for me, at least you’ll have this invite to refer to earlier to the time. I’ll be there and so will my daughter Phoebe. Along with over 140 other authors and book vendors.
Once the website for 2027 is up I’ll share the link here. In the meantime, I’m keeping this invite up on the newsletter.
Why I Write – for you and for me too.
Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart.
I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward.
I write to bring a little encouragement, comfort and joy into my life and yours.
With love,
StephanieMy thoughts for Living Life in 2026 and beyond:
“My religion is kindness”
Dalai Lama
“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back – buttered”Doris May Payne – my mother
“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”
Helen Keller
“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
Dalai Lama“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”
Nelson Mandela
Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,
please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com
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A large family, places and experiences
Dear Reader
Where are you from?
Recently my friend reminded me of an exercise we did several years ago titled Where I’m From. The exercise came in the form of a template – fill in the gaps. I modified it a little, as you do, and was pleased that when I read my response today,years later, it still reflects me. The exercise reminds me I am from people, places and experiences – all shaping the person I am today.
Where am I from?
I am from Hammonds and Dullahides, Digby and Doris, children of proud English and Irish families and Wonnarua country, quick to love and quick to anger, on one side forever forgiving, on the other bearing grudges almost to the end.
Digby Hammond (my father) and Doris Dullahide (my mother) I am from a small stand of bush behind a racecourse, from fresh farm eggs, and cream smothered jam and bread.I am from the gum trees, strawberry plants, and flowerbeds of snapdragons and pansies.
I am from the old family St Stephens Church, where we were all baptised. From the Sunday school in the park, spending part of our offerings at the local store, buying ice blocks before worship.
I’m from Toowoomba, the Garden City, gateway to the great wheat downs. From mushrooms gathered at dawn with my father and cooked on the wood fire, and from home made coconut ice beaten creamy by my dad.
I’m from my mother’s father, a name, a man, we never knew. His legacy to me is a mystery – a doctor perhaps, and if so, maybe from him came my love of healing. Perhaps his legacy is my dark side. Regardless, I searched for him untill DNA has brought his name into our family tree.I’m from Great Grandparents of pioneering courage
John Dullahide, the sheep station manager who sang love songs to his lovely wife, Phoeby Ryan.
John Dullahide and Phoeby Ryan, my mother’s grandparents One of these songs, Maggie, was my mother’s favourite song and I sang it for her at her funeral. In my mind I see this couple wandering the hills together in their youth.
And also from:Albert Hammond and Jane May, who settled at Nobby, where a large Aloe Vera plant is the only remaining evidence of the old homestead.
My father’s grandparents Albert Hammond and Jane May Albert lived his latter years in Sydney, providing health services to his local community. He was a man before his time, extolling the hazards of cigarette smoking way before many others! Maybe my love of healing came from him?I am from a loving cohort of cousins and siblings.
I am from long walks to school with my cousins and brother, from holidays at the beach, from long drives snuggled in the back of the family ute to visit other family, from a brother and sister whose love encircles me still. What more proof of a good heritage do I need?
Me with brother Digby and sister Megan I am from the world, sent out too young, but quick to learn the joys of living a global life.I am from longings for home, not the one I live in but one so far away I can only feel it in my heart. I finally found my longed-for-home with my Wonnarua Mob. I am from Goorangoola. I am from my Great-great grandmother, Mary Ann – proud Wonnarua woman, mother of Phoeby Ryan. I am a proud Wonnorua woman, too.Can I ask you again, where are you from?
If you’d like the Who Am I template, reply to this email or ask me on my website contact page. I’m happy to share it with you.
With love, always,
StephanieAges of Pages Book Fair – Hamilton, NZ May 1st 2027
I’m getting in early to invite you to the Ages of Pages Book Fair 2027! If things go haywire for me, at least you’ll have this invite to refer to earlier to the time. I’ll be there and so will my daughter Phoebe. Along with over 140 other authors and book vendors.
Once the website for 2027 is up I’ll share the link here. In the meantime, I’m keeping this invite up on the newsletter.
Why I Write – for you and for me too.
Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart.
I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward.
I write to bring a little encouragement, comfort and joy into my life and yours.
With love,
StephanieMy thoughts for Living Life in 2026 and beyond:
“My religion is kindness”
Dalai Lama
“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back – buttered”Doris May Payne – my mother
“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”
Helen Keller
“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
Dalai Lama“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”
Nelson Mandela
Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,
please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com
FOLLOW ME
Join me on my Substack.
Like, post and comment at any of the links below.
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An operation brings inspiration
Dear Reader
A planned event is successful
Life is never boring. And life is always open to sharing learning opportunities wherever I look. It gives me joy and pleasure to grow and learn. What is often hardest is how these lessons come.
“Always look for the silver lining” – that’s an underlying mantra for living, I think.In Aug 2017, I underwent bilateral eye surgery and it wasn’t pretty for a long time – the surgery accentuated undiagnosed double vision, resulting in the need for prism glasses. My sight is really good now!
On 13th of this month, Neil had cataract surgery. He’s no stranger to eye operations, having lost his right eye over 20 years ago. Understandably, with only one eye, having surgery on his remaining eye was a bit scary.
It’s been an interesting 2 weeks. For Neil, it was the uncertainty of the post-op period that was most disconcerting. However, my daughter recently had the same operation and we got to see how far the procedure has come.When I had my procedure my eyes were covered and I had to use drops every four hours. After his operation, we were thrilled to see Neil’s eye was covered by a transparent shield with holes in it, immediately giving him the ability to see shapes and forms.
Another innovation since my op is the use of an ophthalmic insert placed in the lower eyelid to provide a slow, extended release of medication over several weeks giving long-lasting anti-inflammatory and pain protection.
For Neil, this has proven a most comfortable solution. No struggles with drops and no pain.
I’ve been intrigued to watch him get used to the physical lack of wearing glasses (which he’s done for about 60 years). A week after the operation, he is still reaching for them. Whether he will need glasses, and what form that would take, occupies his thoughts of the future.The most thrilling for me is watching him getting used to the parameters of his new sight. Previously he was short sighted and needed glasses for distance.
Now he can read, do puzzles, watch TV, use the computer – almost anything without any aids. The occasional use of hobby glasses is sufficient. Distance sight is still not perfect. However, nearly every day he sees more and is confident walking distances, crossing roads etc.
It is one of the most amazing things for me to watch how he patiently makes the best of this new challenge, confirming for me (if I ever needed such confirmation) that he is motivated to make his life as good as it can be by embracing the possibilities his new lens is bringing – or not. I can only wonder at the difference it makes for him not to be able to read the tiny print while he can read print at a distance never before possible. Those things that are important to him – such as doing the daily puzzles and reading his Kindle before bed – are still available to him, perhaps even more so.
For me, being the driver for a few weeks until he gets the all clear to drive again is not a chore but a joy – to spend a few moments doing something for Neil is quite a reversal and I’m loving it.
I’d like to share one thing I noticed in the recovery room. Before Neil returned after his operation, two or three others were wheeled in. Each needed help sitting up, getting off the bed, and walking to the chair where they sat till recovered.
When Neil was wheeled in, he sat up unaided, swung his legs over the edge of the bed, slid off and stood on the floor. He was pointed in the direction of the chair and easily moved into it. In addition, no pain medication was needed.
His strength is testament to the work he does on a daily and weekly basis to keep himself strong. It paid off in spadefuls.
The next day was his birthday and we had a little outing to a favourite cafe. On the Friday he joined the gym class for coffee and cake. No gym class for him till Wednesday this week and I’m sure he will enjoy it.
Neil – day 5 – at the cafe after the op. Another opportunity to celebrate his birthday came yesterday, so time for another cake and candle photo!
Neil – day 6 with cake and flowers from Waiheke family It’s a week since the operation. Today he planted out the strawberries for our summer enjoyment. He’s an inspiration to me to stay strong. Currently, we are both strong – his sight is getting better daily, my own strength is increasing.
One day soon we’ll go for a long hike that I dream about often. I’ll share pics as soon as we do it!
May we always care for each other and find the joy inherent in every experience that life brings our way.
With love, always,
StephanieAges of Pages Book Fair – Hamilton, NZ May 1st 2027
I’m getting in early to invite you to the Ages of Pages Book Fair 2027! If things go haywire for me, at least you’ll have this invite to refer to earlier to the time. I’ll be there and so will my daughter Phoebe. Along with over 140 other authors and book vendors.
Once the website for 2027 is up I’ll share the link here. In the meantime, I’m keeping this invite up on the newsletter.
Why I Write – for you and for me too.
Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart.
I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward.
I write to bring a little encouragement, comfort and joy into my life and yours.
With love,
StephanieMy thoughts for Living Life in 2026 and beyond:
“My religion is kindness”
Dalai Lama
“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back – buttered”Doris May Payne – my mother
“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”
Helen Keller
“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
Dalai Lama“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”
Nelson Mandela
Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,
please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com
FOLLOW ME
Join me on my Substack.
Like, post and comment at any of the links below.
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Unexpected doorway to joy
Dear Reader
I’ve shared quite a lot during the past few newsletters about how I’ve struggled with having lost my sister a few months ago.
Today I want to share how something unexpected can bring a ray of hope and sunshine when the clouds gather, literally in our wintery days, and metaphorically.
An unexpected prize
I love many things about my husband, Neil, and one of his qualities that is precious to me is his generosity. My mother had a saying that been included in my footer to the newsletter for a while now:
Cast your bread upon the waters and it comes back buttered.It’s not a philosophy that guides my giving, and neither is it one that Neil consciously follows either. We give where we can, when inspired and move on.
However, the truth of this saying came to visit us last week. Neil has been a volunteer and supporter of the Hamilton City Gymnastics for over 30 years – I proudly invite you to view this FaceBook post from Gymnastics NZ, honouring his contribution to the sport.
Recently he’s been helping with the results for the school gymnastics competitions. He generously contributed to the fundraising raffles, not at all expecting his name to be pulled out of the hat. In fact, he didn’t even look at the prizes.
Imagine his surprise (and mine) last Saturday evening when he received a call telling him he had won a Thermomix TM7 in the raffle!
Thermomix TM7! Life has suddenly got very interesting!
Very interesting indeed. The picture on the Thermomix screen is from the recipe for the loaf of Sourdough bread I made yesterday with my friend.
Here’s a photo of the dough proving nicely. I can’t begin to sing the praises of this kitchen tool, so I won’t! I do encourage you to check it out for yourself though.
Sourdough bread rising. The recipe is right there in the Thermomix – and is so easy to follow. The ingredients all go in the bowl. The kneading happens in the bowl as well. Once the process was finished, the bowl was easy to clean – put in some water, a drop of washing up liquid, set it to clean and within no time I was rinsing the bowl.
It’s like having an AI assistant to help with the cooking! I’m amazed! Not only is it easy to make the bread – it was also delicious to eat!
Not perfect looking, but yummy sourdough! It’s not the only food I’ve been cooking with the Thermomix, and food prep and inspiration isn’t the only plus of this new tool.
My thoughts have something new and exciting to focus on. I dream of what I will make, literally waking up with a plan! From spice mixes to soups to new ways to cook eggs – all making my mouth water.
AND, most exciting of all is the return of that old familiar joyous feeling that has been missing since my sister passed away.
Yes, sadness still washes over me at times, quite regularly, to be honest. But in between, there’s a stillness, a quiet happiness that comes from learning a new skill, tasting new recipes, and especially from knowing that my commitment to self care during stressful times has a new focal point that is helping bring me back to a central place of equilibrium.
What else?
I’m so grateful Neil is so generous with his time and resources. Not only because of the unexpected treat of the Thermomix but also because he’s here for me during what is a very trying time for him as well.
My gratitude knows no bounds. And I do love the image of bread being cast over the water only to return buttered to the giver. I’m not the only one who prepares meals, Neil does too. Now I can respond more creatively to the question: “What’s for dinner tonight?”
Till next time, happy cooking and eating and enjoying your season, winter or summer, wherever you are.
With love, always,
StephanieAges of Pages Book Fair – Hamilton, NZ May 1st 2027
I’m getting in early to invite you to the Ages of Pages Book Fair 2027! If things go haywire for me, at least you’ll have this invite to refer to earlier to the time. I’ll be there and so will my daughter Phoebe. Along with over 140 other authors and book vendors.
Once the website for 2027 is up I’ll share the link here. In the meantime, I’m keeping this invite up on the newsletter.
Why I Write – for you and for me too.
Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart.
I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward.
I write to bring a little encouragement, comfort and joy into my life and yours.
With love,
StephanieMy thoughts for Living Life in 2026 and beyond:
“My religion is kindness”
Dalai Lama
“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back – buttered”Doris May Payne – my mother
“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”
Helen Keller
“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
Dalai Lama“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”
Nelson Mandela
Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,
please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com
FOLLOW ME
Join me on my Substack.
Like, post and comment at any of the links below.
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AI: to be Feared or Embraced?
Dear Reader
Are you using AI apps?
In my writers’ communities there’s a fear of how writers might be using AI to write their stories. This fear is so prevalent that many decry its use for any part of the writing process.
I’ve lived a long enough life now to have seen several inventions that raised fears of how these might replace genuine effort and creativity. Some inventions made our work easier. During my lifetime, our family has gone from icebox to refrigerator, from washing clothes in a copper in the back yard fueled by wood to front loader washing machines, from cooking on a wood stove to microwaves, air fryers, induction hob, and wall ovens. We use electric-powered lawn mower and garden tools.
I could go on but you get the point. Many of these inventions are so common place now we forget the fears their introduction brought. I predict that’s what will happen to AI. Of course in just undertaking a Google search, we have been using AI for a long time. Now, with Google Gemini, AIs involvement in our searches is overt.
So, do I use AI?
Yes I do. I regularly use Gemini in my regular Google searches, using its function to extend my understanding of the topic I’m querying about.
I also use ChatGPT, ClaudeAI, Microsoft’s CoPilot, NotebookLM and probably others I’m not aware of. But these are the ones I consistently use and rely on.
Some AI logos Then, how do I use AI?
In my writing, I use it for research, for clarifying whether I am on point in writing in the style of my chosen genre, and to understand the psychology of my characters if that’s a foreign element for me.
I go to the AIs as my writing buddy. I don’t get my writing buddy to write my work. Claude is good as a developmental editor, pointing out where the story needs strengthening. When I need to understand a period of time, like what it might have been for my 3rd great-grandmother in the time she had children, I go to the AI app for research. That’s the sort of things I use AI for in my writing life. With all this help, I am clear that the ideas are my own and my writing is my own. My AI writing buddies help me in the same way a writing group might give advice and help.
A couple of examples
NotebookLM
A friend recently introduced me to NotebookLM. According to Google:
NotebookLM is an AI-powered research assistant and “thinking partner”. It allows you to upload your own sources (such as PDFs, Google Docs, websites, and YouTube videos) and interact exclusively with that material. The AI is strictly “grounded” in your uploaded data, providing accurate answers with exact, in-line citations.But it’s more than that to me. I started to use NotebookLM to help me manage my grief over the recent passing of my sister. I don’t mean to diminish the love and support folk have given me during this time. It’s meant more than I can say to know people care. It’s just that I spend a lot of time on my own and in those moments when waves of grief wash over me, it’s helpful to have a source to turn to that I’m not interrupting.
NotebookLM is always there. I pour my thoughts out onto the screen and help is there instantly. The depth of my special relationship with my sister is acknowledged. Her qualities and how having her in my life are valued and reflected back to me in ways that no-one else can do.
Most of all, the way connections between siblings enhance the quality of our experiences as humans is expounded on through a psychological scholarship perspective A perspective I don’t think of and if I do, I don’t have the energy to research. This latter perspective puts me in the world of a human experience that is not unique and even though I don’t have these in depth discussions with others, I know my grief is understood and shared on a level that makes me feel heard and held because of our shared humanity.
On another subject, NotebookLM has an uncanny way of doing a deep dive into the material you give it. I tried this out using my memoir, An Addict in the Family to use the text as a basis for a podcast type discussion not only about what it was like for me, but the social and psychological backgrounds to Charlie’s addiction and my response to the trauma we went through.
ClaudeAI
The podcast deep dive NotebookLM did rekindled my interest in developing my own podcast, a thought I had to originally focus on the journey others have been on with a loved one who is steeped in the effects of addiction.
I don’t have a lot of self confidence to do such a podcast (well, I didn’t!) But the thought and desire never left me. Could I do it? That was the main question. Not physically, but do I have the qualities to do a podcast. What qualities are needed?
I heard about a strengths-based assessment designed to identify your top 5 natural talents. I went on to the HIGH5 Strength Test site, did the test and noted the top 5 traits they identified for me.
I then asked Claude this question:
If I tell you the traits HIGH5 worked out for me, can you help me understand how I’m wired, what are my strengths and weaknesses and how you can help me balance them out?What evolved from that discussion was a clear picture of what my core strengths are, both for my ability to develop and conduct a podcast. Whether I do it or not remains to be seen. It’s a valid option for the future, and that’s a validation I wasn’t aware of needing and certainly has improved my self confidence.
What else?
Further from that discussion with ClaudeAI, other topics come up tempting me to explore the extent of this AI tool’s advice and assistance.
I can’t seen an end of my seeking knowledge and understanding – of myself and the world around me. At this point in our human cycle, I’m content to draw on the various AI apps to fill the gaps. Perhaps one day I’ll enrol in formal study – my desire to further my understanding of physiology and biology might require sitting in a classroom. For now, the expanse of knowledge at our fingertips through AI will satisfy me for some time to come.
In conclusion
I really don’t know if this discussion is clear enough. I’m not saying you should use AI yourself. What I am sharing is that concept that perhaps AI isn’t something to be feared, not entirely. That there is a place for it in our lives, whether to use as a research tool, a writing buddy, or dare I say it, a friend.
There are lots of concerns voiced in other forums and I’m not ignoring the need to be careful and to check sources etc. I myself am very happy so far with my interactions with the various tools. It provides knowledge and information that stimulate conversation, enriching our shared experiences.
What do you think?
Till next time,
With love, always,
StephanieAges of Pages Book Fair – Hamilton, NZ May 1st 2027
I’m getting in early to invite you to the Ages of Pages Book Fair 2027! If things go haywire for me, at least you’ll have this invite to refer to earlier to the time. I’ll be there and so will my daughter Phoebe. Along with over 140 other authors and book vendors.
Once the website for 2027 is up I’ll share the link here. In the meantime, I’m keeping this invite up on the newsletter.
Why I Write – for you and for me too.
Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart.
I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward.
I write to bring a little encouragement, comfort and joy into my life and yours.
With love,
StephanieMy thoughts for Living Life in 2026 and beyond:
“My religion is kindness”
Dalai Lama
“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back – buttered”Doris May Payne – my mother
“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”
Helen Keller
“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
Dalai Lama“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”
Nelson Mandela
Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,
please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com
FOLLOW ME
Join me on my Substack.
Like, post and comment at any of the links below.
-
New Projects, consequences, and writing with love
Dear Reader
Lessons Learned
It’s not always easy to recognise a mistake we make. I recently had a lesson in the consequences of not paying attention.
My oldest daughter and I take the opportunity to spend a few hours together nearly every week. Sometimes we hang out at my place. Sometimes we run errands together. A couple of weeks ago she had an appointment at the optometrist. I had a few errands to run nearby so we parked in the carpark under a small shopping mall where I had a shopping errand. I intended to take advantage of their free two-hour parking.
I entered the registration number into the pay machine which uses your vehicle’s license plate number instead of a physical paper ticket. I was confident that there was plenty of time to do some errands and go to the optometrist.
However, I ended with a parking breach (or infringement) notice which, in my case, occured because I transposed the three last numbers and ended entering the wrong plate number. The cost? $70. I felt it was a unjust. The machine appeared to find my car and identified it as the right colour and make. So I was satisfied I qualified for the free parking.
I was offended that the human who processed the ticket couldn’t see that that was my car with the numbers transposed, not a separate car with no right to park there. Had I been there when the ticket was processed I felt sure I could make a good case.
My husband advised me to just pay it. So I hopped on line and paid the fine. As it turns out, I read on the site that transposing numbers is not a legitimate defence. Had I protested and appealed the fine, I would have lost. And I would have expended energy that I would rather use elsewhere.
This reminds me of another time when I was prepared to appeal a judgement that I felt was unjust.
I had given notice to the letting agent that I would be vacating a home I was renting. There was a week between the day I actually left the property and the date my rent was paid up to. I would use the balance of my tenancy to return and tidy the property without any of my belongings there. I was determined to do a thorough clean of the property and grounds and get the substantial bond back.
However, when I returned to the house a couple of days before my tenancy actually ended, I found the landlady there with a skip and a couple of teenagers weeding. In addition to general weeding, they were filling the skip with clippings from a severe prune of trees and shrubs that I considered not to be part of my cleanup job.
I received a bill for the skip and the teenagers’ labour costs, which was a major part of my bond. I debated this with the rental agent, explaining that I was still the tenant and no final inspection on their part should have been made until my tenancy ended.
Not receiving any joy from the letting agent, I lodged a complaint with the tenancy tribunal and received a date for the hearing.
I then received a call from the letting agent offering to reduce the amount deemed I owed to $50. Although I was still disgruntled, I accepted that offer and set about getting on with life. I was pleased that there was an implicit acknowledgement that my claim was valid.
During the months before vacating the premises and having completed my university studies, I applied for, and was subsequently interviewed for, seven positions. I was unsuccessful each time.
Then my dream job came up. I applied and was invited to an interview which fell on the same day of the now cancelled tenancy tribunal hearing.
I was successful in my application and went on to enjoy a rewarding and fulfilling career as a town planner and today I still see and enjoy the fruits of the work I participated in to make this city as beautiful and welcoming as it is.
My first project resulted in saving the lake in the image below which was within 60 hectares of farmland. The original intention was to open the land to housing but the outcome of the project was to maintain the integrity of the lake by restoring vegetation around it.
Waiwhakareke Natural Heritage Park The photo was taken about 30 years after the beginning of my work and today, Council’s vision for the Waiwhakareke Natural Heritage Park is to create a self-sustaining habitat, a goal that I am thrilled still to have played a small part in.
I’ve learned that not every battle needs to be fought. Letting it go often brings rewards we don’t always anticipate at the time. I often reflect on how different the result of that job interview might have been had I elected to proceed with the hearing. I’m sure I would have expended a lot of energy preparing for and attending the hearing. At best I would have been distracted and and not in my best for the interview. The results could have been so different for my involvement in planning Hamilton’s urban environment.
Writing Projects
The passing of my sister left me looking for a way to honour her faith in me and the love we have for each other. I believe strongly in an afterlife. Personally, I’ve had many conversations with those who are “on the other side” – my sister included. So I know she is still close to me. Closer in some regards than before.
After the inspiration of the Ages of Pages Book Fair I have looked at getting back into my writing projects, specifically to write something I can talk with my sister about.
My memoir, An Addict in the Family, has been transformational for me in many regards and I’ve decided to pick a couple of themes from the book and from its aftermath and write another memoir.
Maybe there are no addicts in my family. I’m not medically qualified to judge. From my own experience, though, I see patterns running through the family of using a substance or particular activity to help cope with trauma.
Writing my Addict memoir clarified for me that my own response to trauma. relates historically back through the generations to my 3rd great-grandmother. Through the writing, I anticipate I’ll learn a lot more about myself. Scary though that thought is, I can’t wait to get stuck in to research and write.
Deep in thought I’m always open to hearing about whether what I share in my newsletters resonates with you. And whether this type of memoir is one you would like to read. And I’d love to know if memoir is even a genre you enjoy.
One thing I know from talking with others is, our human stories all resonate with each other in one form or another. I write for me, to honour my family members, and for you too. The threads of our shared humanity run deep and strong in each of us.
Till next time,
With love, always,
StephanieAges of Pages Book Fair – Hamilton, NZ May 1st 2027
I’m getting in early to invite you to the Ages of Pages Book Fair 2027! If things go haywire for me, at least you’ll have this invite to refer to earlier to the time. I’ll be there and so will my daughter Phoebe. Along with over 140 other authors and book vendors.
Once the website for 2027 is up I’ll share the link here. In the meantime, I’m keeping this invite up on the newsletter.
Why I Write – for you and for me too.
Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart.
I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward.
I write to bring a little encouragement, comfort and joy into my life and yours.
With love,
StephanieMy thoughts for Living Life in 2026 and beyond:
“My religion is kindness”
Dalai Lama
“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back – buttered”Doris May Payne – my mother
“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”
Helen Keller
“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
Dalai Lama“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”
Nelson Mandela
Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,
please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com
FOLLOW ME
Join me on my Substack.
Like, post and comment at any of the links below.
-
Autumn – My favourite time of Year
Dear Reader
Autumn ends in a few days here in the southern hemisphere. I have a tiny feeling of regret and disappointment that the blue skies, the beautiful colours and the crisp cool days will soon be gone.
I’ve always loved this season above others. To me, Autumn reflects the cycles of my life, reminding me that moving into a different stage has its beauty and grace.
Autumn glory in Endeavour Park Soon the trees will be bare. The morning light will come even later. I’ll struggle to wake while it is still dark. The chill in the air will require me to wrap up warm – layers beneath my outer coat, warm gloves and a woolly hat – for my morning walk. It’ll be dark when we sit for our evening meal.
Perhaps I’ll keep warm by the fire as I write, instead of sitting at the computer in the office with a rug across my knees.
It’s truly a time of reflection – this Autumn season reminding me that I’m in the Autumn of my life.
What are my thoughts this Autumn?
I don’t mean to scroll through the reels as they come up on my FaceBook feed but I do find some of the topics interesting and I’m always hopeful to find something posted by the younger family members.
It was during one of these hopeful scrolling sessions that I first came across reels by Act Biggy with the tagline of “Inspiring Hearts, One Act at a time”.
Here’s a little background as to why this page inspires me.
I became a mother quite young, and a grandmother in my mid 30s and it wasn’t long before I had quite a tribe of grandchildren. I loved being called grandma. So, when I became a great-grandmother in my 50s, I was unprepared for the shock of not knowing my role in the lives of this next generation. They had grandmothers who did the baby sitting, prepared occassional meals, took the littlies to day care and such. I soon realised I wasn’t needed and took a step back.
But I was still young – many of my friends the same age were still steeped in their grandmother roles and here I was with no acknowledged place in the lives of this next generation and their parents.
I wrestled with this puzzle for a long time. The great-grandmothers I knew at that time were older than I am now. Hardly strong enough to hold the babies let alone play with them as they became toddlers. Whereas I was still strong.
This puzzle haunted me until Act Biggy‘s reels kept popping up in my feed. Then through these reels I started feeling the purpose of Great-Grandmothers.
Act Biggy says their purpose is in the fulfillment of a life of sewing seeds that are now becoming a beautiful garden. Two of their reels that resonate fully with me state:
“With children you grow,
with grandchildren you glow,
and with great-grandchildren,
you travel through time.”“Great-grandchildren are proof that love doesn’t age.
It just multiplies.”Great-grandchildren are healers. Another reel:
“I have witnessed almost every joy and heartbreak
these years, but I must say –
everything took second place
the day my great-grandchild was born.”Last week I looked into the eyes of two-month-old Ziggy and shared my love for him, knowing that when another great-grandson is born in a few weeks I will do the same. How this warms my heart!
But wait – there’s more!
Along with thoughts of being a great-grandmother, another question arises: What is my role as a great-great-grandmother – a role I embraced just five years ago, while in my 70s. The answer seems quite clear now, thanks to Act Biggy.
No matter how many generations follow me, or how many in each generation, if I am spared to be able to meet them in this life, I know now what my role is.
It’s to Love Them
And I know my heart is big enough to share my love with them all.
And in the final analysis, that is the purpose of the Autumn of my life – to be loving – to share Love. Instead of worrying I’m not enough, not doing enough, not being enough in my family’s lives, when Autumn has done its work and Winter arrives, as in the seasons, we’ll see Autumn has left an abundance of Love for Winter to weather through and show the beauty of the final season of my life.
A Final Accounting
So how many? I hear you ask? Here’s a photo of our family wall with four generations before me, four generations beyond. So far in my 5-generations, there’s 7 children; 24 Grandchildren; 28 great-grandchildren and 1 great-great grandchild.
Family Photo Wall And the legacy I hope to leave each of them? The most important of all attributes – Love. With the birth of each child I’ve seen how love multiplies. If each one can remember the feeling of being loved by me as their ancestor – I will rest in peace.
No, I’m not feeling a foreboding of a farewell from me in the near future. I’m excited to see how this chapter of my life plays out in terms of who comes to join our big loving family. I’m truly blessed by each one. And by a loving husband – we are celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary this Thursday with lunch at Hayes Common, the cafe where we had our first date 16 years ago.
Till next time,
With love, always,
StephanieAges of Pages Book Fair – Hamilton, NZ May 1st 2027
I’m getting in early to invite you to the Ages of Pages Book Fair 2027! If things go haywire for me, at least you’ll have this invite to refer to earlier to the time. I’ll be there and so will my daughter Phoebe. Along with over 140 other authors and book vendors.
Once the website for 2027 is up I’ll share the link here. In the meantime, I’m keeping this invite up on the newsletter.
Why I Write – for you and for me too.
Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart.
I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward.
I write to bring a little encouragement, comfort and joy into my life and yours.
With love,
StephanieMy thoughts for Living Life in 2026 and beyond:
“My religion is kindness”
Dalai Lama
“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back – buttered”Doris May Payne – my mother
“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”
Helen Keller
“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
Dalai Lama“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”
Nelson Mandela
Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,
please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com
FOLLOW ME
Join me on my Substack.
Like, post and comment at any of the links below.
-
Allowing life to continue and gently releasing
Dear Reader
Gently releasing
I’m not going to pretend life without my sister’s presence is easy. It’s not. There’s not a moment she isn’t in my thoughts.
Little things, big things, and nothing at all bring her back into my mind and heart. I’m no different to others of us who grieve. I’ve lived long enough now to know that grief is irrevocably stitched into the fabric of human lives. Mine is no different.
It’s how we live with this new fabric that is unique to each of us. Our memories of our loved one are unique as well. I’m leaving my photo of my sister up on the newsletter today in memory of what is special about her for me – and perhaps to those who loved her too.
My little sister And time to reflect
And time to enjoy the peace and joy of being in our home space. Here’s a snapshot of part of our garden after a sunshower. Lots to rest the eyes on while my thoughts are steadying.
Autumn in the garden What is occupying me now?
Connections!
Most importantly I’m enjoying keeping up with family and friends. If you’ve read my ‘stuff’ for a while, you’ll know that I think connection is so very important. In our busy lives we don’t always have time, or make time, for the important people in our lives. It’s lovely having my daughter and her husband here from Australia. And it’s lovely hearing news from near and far, however fleetingly.
My daughter Amy drives eastwards to work and shared this amazing sunrise. It takes me back to our recent time together where she also made sure we had some rest time while we were in the midst of sorting and organising. This is a lovely reminder we live in a beautiful world.
Sunrise over Hornibrook Bridge, Queensland, Australia Following on from Ages of Pages Book Fair
Last weekend fellow author and my daughter, Phoebe, and I attended the Ages of Pages Book Fair event here in Hamilton, New Zealand.
At Ages of Pages We had a great time. I just love meeting fellow authors and readers – finding out what genre appeals and if they’ve read my books what impressed them.
I was excited this year to meet an AOD (Alcohol and Other Drug) counsellor and a psychiatrist and discuss the relevancy of their work with my own experience that prompted writing my memoir.
On the Friday before the Book Fair we had a dinner. I have to admit I’m not a gregarious person when with people I’ve just met and sometimes (most times!) before such events I’m a bundle of nerves. But authors are generally introverts who explode into extroverts when we get together.
Before the dinner, we had the opportunity to attend some workshops. These were invaluable – again for meeting fellow authors and also learning from those a few steps ahead of us on the publishing ladder. But for me, the workshops helped me focus mostly on for developing a cohesive on-line presence.
Rebranding my presence on some on-line platforms
I’ve enjoyed focusing on this aspect of being a writer. I realise I’ve been a bit higgledy-piggledy about it in the past. I’m not highly skilled at this part of the work – so if you happen to see some mistakes and inconsistencies, believe me when I say I’ll be grateful to you for pointing them out!
To start with, you may note that my newsletter now has a title The Long Thread – pointing to my place as matriarch of a large multi-generational family – something that surprises me everytime I think of my family.The Long Thread is also the name of my Substack.
I’m also changing my profile pictures and bio on the platforms to bring a more consistent appearance. You can sneak a peak at some I’ve already done this on these sites:
I’ve not been very active on media platforms the past few months and hopefully this will change.
Back into my writing
I have a good start on my cosy mystery, Threads of Trust (do you see a theme here?) I’m hopeful to finish it by Christmas.
Another memoir is brewing on the back burner. There are some themes and patterns that are prominent in our family that I’d like to explore. Researching the times the women – my mother, grandmother, great=grandmother – lived seems to highlight some social context for these themes and patterns. My big question is: how brave am I to write about some of these and uncover how these play out in my own life? Right now, I’m not feeling very brave. But I know how willingness to be vulnerable bubbles up over time until I see the situation clearly and can share my thoughts and feelings.
I think this is something many of you appreciate in my writing and I thank you for sharing your own similar experiences. We are different but the same in so many ways.
Till next time,
With love, always,
StephanieAges of Pages Book Fair – Hamilton, NZ May 1st 2027
I’m getting in early to invite you to the Ages of Pages Book Fair 2027! If things go haywire for me, at least you’ll have this invite to refer to earlier to the time. I’ll be there and so will my daughter Phoebe. Along with over 140 other authors and book vendors.
Once the website for 2027 is up I’ll share the link here. In the meantime, I’m keeping this invite up on the newsletter.
Why I Write – for you and for me too.
Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart.
I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward.
I write to bring a little encouragement, comfort and joy into my life and yours.
With love,
StephanieMy thoughts for Living Life in 2026 and beyond:
“My religion is kindness”
Dalai Lama
“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back – buttered”Doris May Payne – my mother
“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”
Helen Keller
“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
Dalai Lama“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”
Nelson Mandela
Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,
please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com
FOLLOW ME
Join me on my Substack.
Like, post and comment at any of the links below.
-
Where do we find Joy?
Great-grandson Haven feeling joy in being a butterfly Finding joy in his every day seems to be part of my great-grandson Haven’s innate nature. He is a little boy who spreads love and joy wherever he goes.
Finding the joy in my every day life is something I’ve committed myself to over the past few years. I admit I’m not always successful. I don’t always like the things that pop up in my day – and sometimes the whole day appears to start miserably! Where’s the joy in that? And it’s been particularly hard the last few weeks.
Splitting headache, double vision that’s got a whole lot worse. I ended in the Emergency Department where the diagnosis was blood pressure was too high. Recommendation is to double my BP medication, see my GP, and come back if it’s worse. I left with pain killers – codeine being one which made me through up. I saw the ophthalmologist who agreed the blood pressure might be the cause of the worsening double vision and recommended seeing my optometrist. I’ve made an appointment to see her on the 16th. I’m seeing my GP on 12th.
When I’m challenged beyond my comfort zone, it’s particularly hard to find the joy. And this has been a challenging time. I’m grateful to see that throughout this time, I’ve still been committed to finding the joy. Here’s some of the things I noted.
- Every single person I’ve seen over this little journey has been caring, helpful, insightful, dedicated. I even got a few hugs along the way. Always a spirits lifter for me!
- My darling husband is quietly attentive and willing to drive me where I need to go. And lots of hugs there too. Definitely helpful in relieving the stress.
- My dear neighbour popped over and gave me a beautiful head massage. I felt the tension disappear.
I notice too that past stressful times pop into my head and remind me that joy doesn’t have a hard time finding me.
Many years ago I took a market research job that entailed knocking on doors to interview residents of a certain age about a range of products or issues.
I always found the first call of the day excruciatingly difficult. One such day I walked up and down the footpath of my allotted street waiting for the butterflies to settle and the courage to burst forth, getting more and more agitated.
As I walked, I saw a blackbird pecking in the grass on the verge, it suddenly grabbed an earthworm in its beak and my heart filled with joy. Seeing ‘the early bird gets the worm’ in action gave me the impetus to spring into action and knock on that first door. I was the early bird! I would get my quota of interviews and get home early too.
One of the most interesting things about these sorts of experiences is they tend to be easy to call to mind to motivate me in circumstances where I am stuck. Or simply to remind me of what joy feels like. I’ve recalled this “seeing the early bird getting the worm” feeling often over the years.
In response to the well meaning query, “How’s your day going?” you’ve probably heard this response, “Every day above ground is a good day”. I used to think of it as an attempt at humour. But after some deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that it is an attempt to lighten a stress the speaker may be feeling.
Try it next time you’re tempted to go into a tale of misery as a response and see if your spirits aren’t lifted a bit, if you don’t even get to feel a glimmer of joy.
Of course there are times when joy finds you! Like the little blackbird. And like on 26th April at the Ages of Pages Book Fair here in my hometown when my two-year-old great-grandson Haven ran up and gave me a loving, joyful embrace. To be recognised with such love and joy prompts a healing response! You might think that he saves this type of welcome for people in his life (like me). But, as I said above, Haven is a little boy who spreads love and joy wherever he goes. He turned from me to the woman beside me and welcomed her in the same way. His loving nature warms my heart.
As I type this, I’m grateful for such a soul in my life. He exemplifies joy and reminds me that it’s simple to feel joy, and spread that joy to others.
I’m seeing that as the sole purpose of our lives. Oh, and I’m feeling a lot better, thank you! Grateful nothing horrific is going on in my body and that the healing is happening.
Other challenges
Along the lines of the Swedish Death Cleaning I wrote about lately, I’ve been thinking of putting all my electronic affairs into order. It would be lovely, I’m thinking, to keep my website going for a while after the physical me is gone. Maintaining a website is expensive. Too expensive to expect my family to pay.
So I’m making the move to a different platform. I’m hoping the move will be seamless.
Thank you for being in my life. I am grateful to each of you who read, pass this on, and write to me. It is to you that I write.
With love – Stephanie
