Dear Reader

Thoughts on growing older as my birthday draws near

It’s a few days to my birthday. A whole year being 77 has been a treat. I love the way 77 rolls off the tongue. Soon it’s be 78. It’s been a tough year in some respects. My health has given me a few challenges.

Along with the challenges though, I’ve gleaned a lot of understanding. Especially about how I’ve been supported by the best in their fields. That’s amazing in itself – and that each person was recommended and seen in the right order. I’m left at this point with a few challenges with my eyesight that I’m learning to live with. I’m managing really well, and for that I’m grateful – I’m learning what a gift gratitude is – and how life prepares us for each stage of life.

I’ve been pondering how I’ve been prepared for growing older.

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If you didn’t know how old you are, how old would you be?

My friend Lizzie asked me this question a week or so ago. And almost immediately, I had an experience to remind me just how old I am.

I was completing my purchase at the lingerie store when the bright young server asked if I wanted a 5 cent bag for my two new bras. I declined saying “My car is just outside.”

We chatted a bit. Another customer joined in and then the server leaned in and quietly asked me again: “Are you sure you don’t want a bag? I’ll give it to you for free.”

The other customer and I burst out laughing. I thanked her for protecting my modesty and, for her benefit only, I tucked my items under my jacket, assuring her that you do lose such concerns in your 70s! I chuckled all the way home.

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To be honest, this is not what I envisioned being said about the old me when I was a teenager. At that time I used to visit Mrs Barber who was a right old biddy! She grumbled and complained about everything. So much so, that I thought I’d never want to get old. Then I picked up a magazine and read an article about aging. The sentence that stuck with me all these years was this:

“If you want to be known as a sweet old lady, Start NOW!”

Sweet, not a sour pus like Mrs Barber. Sweet, yes, but not someone who is embarrassed to carry her new underwear in her hand and walk 200 metres to her car.

If I didn’t know how old I was, how old would I be?

When I was 35, my youngest daughter and I were visiting some of my older relatives. We sat around the lunch table having a great catch up when someone asked how old others felt.

I was shocked to hear everyone agree they didn’t feel a day older than 25! This from a group who were in their 60s and 70s.

I gleaned a lot about aging from my older folk. The greatest was my dear father-in-law. He lived with us for a while and was a source of wisdom and joy. He’d had a stroke years before that left him barely able to dress and feed himself.

One day he asked us how old he was. He couldn’t remember. What amazed me most was his response to our telling him he was just under 50. This darling man who struggled to do basic things replied:

If he didn’t feel old in a body that was giving up, when would he feel old? I suspect never.

Now, at 77, less than a week from my 78th birthday – if I didn’t know the number, how old would I be?

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

When we were at University, my friend Wendy shared a song with me that made me laugh then. Now, when I look at my family photo wall, maybe the lyrics were prophetic!

1987 Michelle Shocked

Oh my Goodness! I’m not old yet!

I’m still on track to live to 140! That’s the number. Maybe I’ll be old by then. In the meantime, my body will probably still have challenges – challenges that I’ll be lead to the best people to help. Regardless of what my body is like as time goes by, I’m confident it’s my mental attitude and the connections with friends and family that will ensure I’ll have the same answer at 139 that I have today:

With love
Stephanie

Why I Write – for you and for me too.

Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart.

I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward.

My thoughts for Living Life in 2025 and beyond:

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“My religion is kindness”

Dalai Lama

“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back – buttered”

Doris May Payne – my mother

“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
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Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

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