Dear Reader

Fear – What does it mean?

Can you think of a time when something you perceived as a threat was not based on actual danger, but on your own view of the situation as a threat? Have you seen this meaning of fear in your life?

F – False

E – Evidence

A – Appearing

R – Real

This acronym for FEAR has always intrigued me. And over the years I’ve drawn comfort from knowing that my fears are not necessarily based in reality. In fact, in hindsight I see that most of my fears have been irrational.

I grew up in Australia

Every Australian child who lives in the bush learns a healthy respect for reptiles. Snakes can be heard rustling in the underbrush. Snakes like to curl up in the rafters of the hen house. Snakes eat things that live in the bush too.

We were taught to take a big stick with us and beat the ground with it while talking loudly. “Snakes are as afraid of you as you are of them,” we were told. Some of us believed this. I always made sure I was with someone else, not quite ready to believe I was able to keep these creatures away.

I had some opportunities to confront snakes while I still lived in Australia. I never actually touched one until I was living in the USA. Here I had three memorable encounters that left me with a great love and affinity for these beautiful creatures.

Amicalola Falls State Park, Georgia

My friend Nicky took me to ‘see’ the Appalachian Trail. I dearly wanted to hike this amazing route and I’ll be forever grateful that she took me to a place where I could at least stand on the trail. While we were in the vicinity, we visited the visitors centre to the Park.

I was looking at some snakes in a display case when the attendant came over, took one out, and let me admire it up close. The phone rang and she put the snake on my shoulder saying, “Here, hold this while I answer the phone.”

My only fear was that it would be scared of me! I can still feel the softness of its skin. Amazing not to feel fear for myself!

Gatorland in Orlando

Within a few days of my visit to Nicky, I was staying in Orlando. I’m not one for the hype of such places, but I wanted to visit Gatorland. I had an idea for a story featuring crocodiles and thought this would be a great place for some research. It was!

I was also thrilled to see there was a photo opportunity. AND as I was on my own, I got to hold both a baby Alligator and a snake! I was in heaven, as you can tell by the photo below.

India, 2007

About a month ago I shared a similar image to the one below in the newsletter. This photo was taken in 2007 on a guided trip to India. There were seventeen of us travelling from the USA. How I got to go on this Buddhist pilgrimage is a story in itself. It’s not that story I want to share here though. On that trip, I was the only one of our group who wanted to come remotely close to this gorgeous creature.

The Secret – Overcoming Fears

Why was I unafraid? I wasn’t always so. In fact, during the first few decades of my life I was petrified – of heights, of drowning, of snakes.

For years, I spent so much time in fear, dodging situations that others were enjoying and finally I realised I was missing out on life. I decided to face those fears and turn them around.

By 2005, I was ready to face the unknown, to explore the USA and get to know what I was really made of – would I shrivel up under the weight of all these fears, or would I finally break free.

I’m sure you’ll agree the photos tell it all. I have developed a love of snakes to the extent that I look forward to these sorts of encounters.

I can feel some of you shuddering! But please, before you turn completely away from the possibility that you might enjoy being up close and personal with the object of your fear, let me share some important factors to keep in mind.

First: Is your fear rational? Is it there to keep you or others safe. I looked around for an example to illustrate this and realise that there isn’t one. Each situation is to be evaluated in the moment, looking at all the factors. What is a healthy fear today may be irrational tomorrow, and vice versa.

Second: Is there a guide? And is that guide someone you can trust?

In Amicalola, I quickly realised the attendant would never have given me the snake to hold if I was in any danger. Or if the snake was in danger from me.

The same was true of the photo opportunity in Gatorland – in fact, the baby gator’s mouth was taped to ensure I wasn’t going to be bitten.

I stood and watched several families have their photos taken before I judged the situation safe enough and the photographers careful.

And finally, in India, with this young boy, I felt safest of all. In last month’s newsletter you see me reaching out to touch the snake. I wanted to be sure my touch was acceptable to this lovely animal. It also gave me an opportunity to chat to the boy. No way would he be entrusted with this precious snake and with the duty to raise money, if he hadn’t been trained properly. See how he is holding the head of the snake in this photo. Away from me and away from himself. Obviously taking good care. Best of all, he spoke quietly to me the whole time I had the snake around my neck. He reassured me several times with “You are safe, Madam, the snake won’t hurt you.”

Third: And finally, remember that we all have the choice to live with irrational fear, or take steps to meet it head on. Having taken the chance to overcome fear, part or all of it, you might just find a way to live a more joyful life. The effort is well worth it.

Maybe take one baby step to rid your life of one of those fears and see what that courage inspires you to do next. Whatever brings you joy, I hope you take a few minutes each day for yourself.

With love
Stephanie

​

My thoughts for Living Life in 2025 and beyond:

​

“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
​​
Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,

please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:

http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com

Join my Reader’s Group on Facebook.​

FOLLOW ME Like, post and comment at any of
the links below.

​​​​

​

Dear Reader

A gift from a Friend

At coffee yesterday, my friend surprised me with this perfect specimen from her garden. I was (am) mesmerised by the perfection of its flowerheard. I can see what I’ve been told is true – that the sunflower is a pseudanthium made up of many small flowers. I’ve never seen one so delicate. I hope my photo does it justice and you enjoy it too.

I’ve been doing
‘Swedish Death Cleaning’

Do you ever come across a concept that has the potential to change your life? And do you then totally forget where you came across that concept?

Well, that’s happened to me. Somewhere recently I heard about Swedish Death Cleaning and downloaded a Kindle sample of this book: The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and Your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter by Margareta Magnusson.

Contrary to what it seems, the idea of Death Cleaning isn’t morbid. It is to make it easier for your loved ones after you’ve passed away. You do the decluttering now so only the essentials, and those items that have the most meaning for you, remain. And isn’t that all we really need right now – regardless of how much longer we have to live?

Memories of my sister and I at Mum’s house going through her things flooded my mind as I read about Death Cleaning. Time and again we asked ourselves: What to do with … I won’t bore you with the list! Or what we did or didn’t keep. Suffice it to say, it was already a distressing time and to sort through and dispose of things we knew were precious to her at one point, but had no value to us, compounded our distress. If I could save my kids this, it would be worth whatever the effort.

I’m not having thoughts of my imminent departure, don’t be concerned. But the thought of decluttering with this in mind gave purpose to my periodic cleanouts that added a dimension of fun that I’d not experienced before.

I am thinking things like: What would my daughters make of all my ‘stuff?’ What would they be interested in? And, more importantly right now, What do I want/need in my life right now – at least until the next declutter round?

First, we cleaned out the bookshelves, reorganised those books we want to keep in order by genre and author alphabetical order. We only culled about 20 books out of our shelves – leaving us over 160 still. Tidier, with an e-catalogue for reference, and easier to deal with ‘when’ the time comes.

At “that” time, my writing books and resources will be bound for my author daughter (who will soon be moving to Australia.) I’m now going through those resources. The writing books are the easiest to deal with: Keep them all!

What’s been challenging about my writing resources, is dealing to all the bits of paper. I’ve been through shelves of carefully stored paper items. And soon I’ll go through it all again. Challenging, yes. But I must say, what a joy this process is also being!

I’ve come across saved notes from various courses I’ve done over the years. All in labelled binders. Then there’s my University transcripts, Degrees, Certificates, notes on professional development, references from employers and colleagues – and many others – all with the memories of who I was back then, the growth and progress both personally and professionally I’ve made.

All this paper stuff reminds me what I’ve known for a very long time: it’s the people I’ve met and worked with over the years that made my various positions and workplaces enjoyable. I loved my work and felt fulfilled as a result of the people.

I also came across some goal setting exercises I did through the years. I smiled to see one of my goals was to walk the Routeburn Track – which I mentioned having done with Neil in my last Newsletter. (Picture below). I’m glad to see some of my goals achieved!

Death Cleaning has given me a new zest for organising and tidying the spaces in our home. Through this process, and I’m just starting, I’m becoming more aware of what others might know about me, and what might come as a surprise, when they go through what I leave behind. Certainly, it’s come as a surprise to me to see most of my ‘current’ soul yearnings are the same as they were from the time I was a child. I’ve uncovered several memories that collectively reveal a lot about what sustains me and my passion for living. I know myself better as a result. I have more confidence to be the me I want to be.

I’ve come across several bits of writing as well and I’m thinking to share these in my Reader’s Group on Facebook. I’ve not shared much there yet. I’ve been a bit shy, but now’s the time to overcome that and share some of the different types of writing. If this interests you, click on the link and join the private group. I’ll post the first there in a few days.

Writing Practice with Payton

We’ve only got together twice so far and I think my granddaughter Payton agrees, it’s worthwhile sharing a couple of hours writing together. One of the things we do is write for 10 minutes on a topic. This is the sort of writing exercise I’ve never really enjoyed, but writing with Payton inspires me.

Last week we each wrote a poem based on a topic she chose with the help of ChatGPT. It’s a fun process, just set the timer and let the words flow. Have you done this? It really is fun.

I’m not a poet, I’m sure you’ll agree! Yet I enjoyed this process so much, I want to share my poem with you (briefly edited):

The House that Shaped Me

Two bedrooms, or maybe three.
Two siblings and me.
A large kitchen, with a coal range,
Lots of laughter around the table at tea.

A large backyard, and on the side
A vege patch; a chicken run
Trees over the fence
Where I could hide.

A doll’s house near the fence
Mine, alone, and to share.
Cricket bat for the boys, a bike, too.
But not for me, my bones might break.

Girls were to be protected.
Boys had fun,
With each other they connected.
Because two of Dad’s sisters died,
Through his fears, joys for us girls were denied.

That house, though inviting and warm,
I was glad to escape. I risked the harm
And in setting my own norm
Of what I could do, I created my own course.

No nostalgia for the house that built me.

February 28, 2025
​
​

Whatever brings you joy, I hope you take a few minutes each day for yourself. Maybe start your own Death Cleaning process and see what inspires you.

With love
Stephanie

​

My thoughts for Living Life in 2025 and beyond:

​

“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
​​
Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,

please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:

http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com

Join my Reader’s Group on Facebook.​

FOLLOW ME Like, post and comment at any of
the links below.

​​​​

​

Dear Reader

Life’s Lessons – Does Hindsight Bring Understanding?

If you challenged me, I could never count the number of times I might have said: “If only I’d known how this was going to turn out, I wouldn’t have been so upset, worried, or afraid back then.” I guess you’ve had a similar moments – times when something that seemed bad at first led to unexpected growth, insight, or even a silver lining.

Hindsight can be a wonderful thing. It lets us look back on challenging experiences and recognise how we might have handled them differently. More importantly, it allows us to learn from them, equipping us for the future when similar situations arise.

Take decision-making, for example. With travel, I’ve learned what’s truly essential for my own comfort and safety – wisdom gained through trial and error.

After once taking too few pairs of socks on a hiking trip, I now always pack extras to keep my feet warm and dry, even when my boots get soaked. Over time, I’ve learned what I can easily buy on the road (like body wash) and what’s worth bringing from home (my favourite moisturiser). Small lessons, but they make a difference.

But what about the bigger things? The times when life throws you something big and unexpected, and you have no choice but to adapt? Imagine uprooting your family, settling into a new home and community, just to have your partner transferred across the country within the year. You’re forced to move again, with no say in the matter. It’s natural to be frustrated. I certainly give myself permission to rant in those situation! (Setting a time limit on how long I can rant helps, but only if I remember to follow it.)

Soon, though, the rational mind takes over. You start making decisions – do you sell your home or keep it, hoping for a return in time? You look for silver linings. Could this be an adventure? Will your family visit? Will you make new friends? With time, you might even come to appreciate the change. Perhaps the new place suits you better. A better job, deeper friendships, even reconnecting with long-lost friends – blessings that wouldn’t have come without that upheaval.

Of course, hindsight isn’t always comforting. Sometimes, it reveals painful truths – mistakes made, opportunities missed, things we wish we’d done differently. Parenting is full of these moments. I wrote about our family’s experience in my memoir An Addict in the Family, sharing what I’ve learned about addiction and the role family dynamics can play.

I know, without a doubt, that I was (and am) a good mother. But I also recognize that there were circumstances beyond my control that contributed to my son’s struggles. I did the best I could with the knowledge and resources I had at the time. Would things have been different if I’d known then what I know now? Maybe. But would the ultimate outcome have changed? That, I can’t say.

What I do know is this: my experiences have deepened my compassion for others going through their own struggles. We are all part of this human journey, living complex, unpredictable lives. None of us are exempt from hardship, but every challenge holds an opportunity for growth.

If I could share one wish, it would be that we each find our own unique lesson in life’s difficulties. May we transform those lessons into strengths that lead us to our own expression of joy in living the life we’ve been given.

With love
Stephanie

​

My thoughts for Living Life in 2025 and beyond:

​

“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
​​
Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,

please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:

http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com

Join my Reader’s Group on Facebook.​

FOLLOW ME Like, post and comment at any of
the links below.

​​​​

​

Dear Reader

Curiosity – again!

I’ve been thinking of the C Words again! Woke up thinking of the tips people give about how to live to a ripe old age and that one of those tips is to keep curious – one of the C Words I’ve written of before – but today in a different capacity.

From early childhood I’ve always been a curious person. I don’t think I was one to ask the endless series of “But WHY?” questions.

For me it was often “But WHAT IF?” “What if I did climb the fence/tree?” “What if I don’t go to Sunday School this week?” “What if I go to the corner store on the way and spend some of the money that’s supposed to go into the collection plate at Sunday School?”

My little mind could ask the questions, but could never get to the end of the matter. I was asking “What would happen if …?” I soon learned that my questions were a bother to whoever I was asking: my parents, my teachers, my aunties, my religious instruction teachers. So I learned to find the answers for myself.

Now I’m grown, I can see that the restrictions on me were often because of the fears of the adults in charge. For example, my dad lost two of his sisters when they were 16-years-old, perhaps from Rheumatic Fever, which plagued all us cousins. Certainly, their deaths made such an impact on him that he restricted any activity that might pose a danger to his daughters. At the time, though, I was unhappy to be left out of the more adventurous and exciting games of the kids in our neighbourhood.

“Ferocious” Curiosity

They didn’t succeed in silencing my inner curiosity, though. In fact, they only succeeded in making me more curious. I’d wonder: “Why are they so impatient with me?” And from that question would come more “What if” questions that secretly I’d explore.

In fact, it wasn’t until I was in my 50s that I heard the term “ferocious curiosity” and the admonition to keep it alive within ourselves at all costs. I attended a series of courses by Chris Howard beginning with one called “Breakthrough to Success”. Recently, in introducing a new course, From Curiosity to Success: Emulate Your Heroes. he said this:

… Embrace curiosity to transform your aspirations into reality…

Ferociously Following my sense of Curiosity!

How does this manifest in my life today? I am forever the student, loving to learn about our world, the diversity of cultures that make up our human family, and how far I can extend my own self: physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

For example:

I am blessed to be married to Neil, someone who remains forever curious about sciencey things.My regret is, I never studied science. Neil has introduced me to concepts and topics that feed my longing for knowledge. My ferocious curiosity is unleashed in ways I’d never imagined. Currently I’m grapling with String theory (described by Brian Greene in The Elegant Universe) which says that the smallest and most basic unit of all matter is not an atom, electron, quark or any other particle, but a little loop of string. I know I have to take a few steps backwards and learn the basics before I can get familiar enough with this one. And I love that. The more I learn the more I realise there is to learn. What joy!

We belong to our book club, an amazing group. Every month we each choose to read a book with a similar theme and share our thoughts. As I listen, I feel a sense of great pleasure the anticipation of being introduced to new concepts, a new author, a new genre brings. I’m never disappointed.

Finally, this past week we were delighted to have the company of two grandchildren (and their parents) staying with us from Wellington. We love watching and listening to the creative expression these amazing little people display. I often wonder which of these emerging talents will feed their souls into adulthood. Above all, I find joy in their ferocious curiosity about their world and am grateful that their parents are happy to foster and encourage that curiosity.

Where to now for MY ferocious curiosity?

Chronologically, I am in my 78th year. I’ve often said my life didn’t start until I turned 40, having been of the conviction that I’d be dead before I reached that age. When in my late 30s I realised I wasn’t going to die, I started to get excited and turned 40 with an incredible wonderment about what the future would hold.

Regardless of my chronological age, my soul age, that part of me that energises the physical me, is only in my 38th year. My body gives me challenges, and I have several wonderful people who help me overcome those challenges. I often pose the question to them: “What advice would you give me if I were 37 years old?” Some rise to the challenge, others just laugh. Regardless, I have that ferocious curiosity to seek the answers, to explore the options, to challenge my own mindset and ask:

“Stephanie, WHAT IF you really are in your 38th year? How would you respond to this long COVID stuff, for example?”

And just in asking the question I feel a renewed enthusiasm for the possibilities of living that long chronological life (at least to 140) and my back straightens, my step is lighter, my eyes glimpse the future, and my heart looks forward to a healthful longevity that will last right up till I draw my last breath. In the meantime, what if I get to have more adventures like this again? What joy to feel this beautiful creature. Maybe the subject of a future newsletter – Me and Reptiles – a love affair?

I look forward to sharing my adventures with you! And what about you? What do you find sparks your own ferocious curiosity? Will you share with me?

Till next time, may you find joy in being ferociously curious in all you do.

With love
Stephanie

​

My thoughts for Living Life in 2025 and beyond:

​

“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
​​
Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,

please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:

http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com

Join my Reader’s Group on Facebook.​

FOLLOW ME Like, post and comment at any of
the links below.

​​​​

​

Dear Reader

Feeling even better!

I’m thrilled to be able to report that I’m feeling a lot better and hopeful that this may continue. I know there’s a way to go, but every day I’m noticing small improvements in how I can do things. Thank you! You’ve touched my heart with your well wishes!

We’ve even been able to get out in the garden. The people before us loved their gardens to be covered in river stones. Unfortunately, the stones have mixed with a lot of soil which meant that weeds and flowers naturalised in both gardens. We’ve spent quite a while taking out the stones and have now covered the area with bark and forest floor mulch. This photo is along the path to the front door.

I’ll share update photos as the plants grow. We’ve planted low growing hebes in the left hand garden taken from cuttings of other plants in the garden. It’s my office window that looks out on the flowering Hokey Pokey rose bush. A lovely inspiration!

Newsletters that inspire me

Talking of inspiration, I feel truly blessed to have come across some amazing people who share their lives with others through their newsletters. I look forward to these messages like I used to anticipate letters by snail-mail.

I am often prompted to reflect on the past, like today when I was reading a missive from Rachael Herron. Rachael is a fellow writer whose mission is to inspire other writers. Today’s message was how to silence your inner Jackass and I thought I’d share some of it with you – and my reflections on this concept.

“Inner Jackass” is her description of our inner critic and I know we all have this voice in our heads, not just writers! I know because the first inner critic I had to silence was the voice of my three-year-old self.

Rachael lists the things that an inner voice often says – you can fill in the gaps:

• You’re not ready to … this.
• Who are YOU to …?
• This has been done a million times, and your work is worse than most.
• You’re not smart enough.
• Your effort is so boring it could replace melatonin.
• No one wants to hear what you have to say.

The most telling thing is that we listen to this voice putting us down when, honestly, we would never listen to someone talking to us like this. We’d run a mile from them.

I had a lot of quirky things to say when people wanted to talk to me about things I felt uncomfortable about. But when it came to that inner voice, I just let it say what it did, and although I’d argue with it, it never seemed to shut up.

It takes a long time to learn that what that voice says is a LIE. And when I found out that my voice was that of my three-year-old self, I realised I had to first understand her motivation, and then find a way to ignore her.

I watched and listened for a while and what I found out was that she was afraid for me. She’d been hurt, WE’D been hurt, so many times, she wanted to protect me. So she was trying her best to stop me from … well, from making a fool of myself, or being embarrassed, or putting myself in danger.

So what made me feel safe as a three-year-old? Playing in the yard with my cousins and brother, mostly. Of course I couldn’t conjure up that specific time for her again, so what I did do was, in my imagination, build a big outlandish sand pit with all the modern construction toys for her to play with. Then, when she started in with her critical voice (warning me in her own way of danger), I talked with her. I’d say: “I’m OK, thank you for caring about me. You go and play in the sandpit and if I need you, I promise I’ll call.” It took a few months, maybe even years, but eventually my child self was content to let me manage my life and she forgot all about me, playing as children should feel safe to do.

I was successful at silencing the critic when I realised she was a younger version of myself. But what of that voice that now tells me I just can’t write that story I’m longing to share? All those rude things that Rachael’s Jackass tells her I hear too about my desire to write all those books that sit on my shelves in my imagination.

How do I silence the voice this time – because it isn’t my three-year-old self! Rachael says to ignore it. Don’t argue with it. You’ll lose if you do and you’ll only give the critic more ways to outmanouvre you.

And I love that she says the voice’s:

… sole mission is keeping you small and safe, colouring inside the lines. It will always outmaneuvre you because that’s literally its only job.

And when I read that, I was transported back to the first few days of school as a five-year-old. Mrs Jackson was my teacher – over 70 years and I can still see her face, hear her voice, and quiver. The task was to “colour in an outline of a young child as myself. And be quick. See who can be first”.

What little kid doesn’t want to be praised for doing a good job when they just started school? I certainly did. Unfortunately, I picked up on the “quick” bit of the task, not the “colour inside the lines” part.

In not colouring within the lines, I’d set the tone for our relationship for the whole year! And it wasn’t pretty.

I didn’t know it then, but that experience set me up for living life within the lines of social expectation. Now, thank goodness, I think I’m old enough to press the mute button on the voices shouting at me about the ‘shoulds’ of life and do mostly what makes me feel the joy of living.

After all, that’s our birthright as humans living on this amazing planet! And what brings me joy is writing!

Update on my writing projects

I spent a large part of yesterday afternoon updating my projects on my website. I’m thrilled to see some things that I’ve been fearful of acknowledging I want to share have made it to the list. Curious? Click on this link to see, and let me know what you most want to read – or if you don’t want to read any of it, I’d love to know that too. https://www.stephaniehammondauthor.com/now​

Hit reply to this email to let me know, or find me on Facebook (click the icon below) and/or join my Reader’s Group on Facebook.​

Here’s the draft cover for the cozy mystery I’m working on. You can read more about it on the website page.

Till next time, may you find joy in all you do.

With love
Stephanie

​

My thoughts for Living Life in 2025 and beyond:

​

“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
​​
Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,

please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:

http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com

Join my Reader’s Group on Facebook.​

FOLLOW ME Like, post and comment at any of
the links below.

​​​​

​

Dear Reader

Welcome to 2025!

​

Healthier already – I’m pleased
to say

I have been diligent in looking after my physical self these past few months, as I mentioned in my end of year newsletter. Also in caring for my mental health. I’m amazed to see the connections between the both and how progress from prioritising my physical health has depended on being kinder to myself mentally – no pressure to get things done, no feeling guilty for taking breaks – that sort of thing.

And the rewards are wonderful. Last Saturday I was able to go to Waitakaruru for the first time in months and feel like I was contributing to our joint volunteering commitment. That alone was a wonderful achievement as I love the Park and always feel rejuvenated. But there were two surprises for me this time.

You know how you meet someone and you have an instant liking for the person? Well it was like that when I met Amanda while I was in the rock garden. She was at the tail end of her visit to New Zealand from one of the lovely Mediterranean Islands and somehow she found Waitakaruru to visit. She was falling in love with the country – a feeling I totally identify with, having emigrated from Australia in the late 1970s. Our interaction was short but my heart still sings with the joy of connecting with her. She’ll be back, I’m sure!

And another unexpected connection when we finished our work for the day. We heard that Marcus Tatton, an amazing public space sculptor, is building a Portal in Conifer Canyon in the Park so we took a stroll over to the canyon to meet him and see what he is creating. Here’s a link to the announcement about the sculpture Marcus is creating at The Sculpture Park at Waitakaruru Arboretum’s FaceBook page Scroll the posts to find the video of Marcus talking about this amazing sculpture​

Marcus’s work reminds us that out of chaos, order can prevail. Over 100 well established 30 year-old trees were ripped from the sides of Conifer Canyon, a massive destruction caused by Cyclone Gabrielle in Feb 2023. Marcus and his amazing partner, Shaah, are working hard to instal the framework and repurpose the timber from these trees: chainsawing, splitting, shaping the wood and creating the structure for their placement on the iron framework.

Marcus reminds me not only of the ‘good things’ that come out of the trials we face, but that we can turn these experiences into our own “Phoenix”, creating something strong and purposeful for our own growth and something to share that will inspire others. His work is truly a lesson for us all that whatever chaos we find ourselves in, we can feel hopeful that in time we can emerge stronger from the personal chaos. ​​​​

If you are in the vicinity, I hope you’ll come and visit Waitakaruru – and many of the other natural features in the place that I love to call home.

Till next time, may you find joy in all you do.

With love
Stephanie

​

My thoughts for Living Life in 2025 and beyond:

​

“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
​​
Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,

please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:

http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com

Join my Reader’s Group on Facebook.​

FOLLOW ME Like, post and comment at any of
the links below.

​​​​

​

Dear Reader

As 2024 Draws to a Close, let me share some thoughts

​

Why I write – my gift to you

Are you curious about the inspiration that drives my writing? I’d like to gift you ‘My Writing Manifesto’ that explores my passion, purpose, and personal journey behind every word I put on the page.

​​​Download My Writing Manifesto here​

​

My main focus this year

I’d love to be able to share that my writing goals have all been achieved this year. That I’ve written my Eternal Echoes memoir about the common traits and challenges in the lives of the women in my family from my great-great-grandmother through the generations. That I’ve completed my cosy mystery novel, Threads of Trust. But I can’t. Although both projects are dear to my heart still, and very much the subjects of my thoughts, both waking and asleep, my priority this year has been elsewhere.

For some time now I have had health issues that I can’t seem to resolve. As you know, Self Care is a concept I am passionate about and I slip thoughts about it into a lot of my writings. Finally, as this year draws to a close, I look back and see that it’s a concept I’ve neglected for many years for myself and have been forced into defining how it applies to me in terms of my own health.

And as the year draws to a close I am feeling hopeful that the range of activities and health care regimes I am currently implementing are having positive results. I am finally able to spend a few minutes gardening and various household activities.

Specifically, I am having regular massages; getting physio; and taking supplements. I am also following a few exercise routines including yoga for 10 minutes a day; an early morning walk for 1-2 kms; and some body strength and flexibility exercises.

Although the lesson of Self Care is a hard earned one, I am grateful that I finally believe that looking after oneself, rather than being selfish, is one of the most generous and important gifts we can give our loved ones. I’m sure I’ll be around a lot longer as a result of these few things I’m doing to nurture myself!

New Year’s Resolutions

It’s that time of year again when our thoughts turn to what we plan to achieve in the coming year. I’ve made some new habits this year, but not as a result of keeping to resolutions made at the beginning of 2024.

In fact, I don’t believe in making New Year’s resolutions – I used to, and then would fail miserably in keeping to them. So, my intent for 2025 is the same as it has been for 2024: to live every moment with love in my heart for every person in my life, for every experience that comes my way, for every opportunity to lighten the load for others (and for myself!).

Whatever your tradition for making resolutions, I wish you joy and peace and that you achieve those things most dear to your heart.

Till next time, may you find joy in all you do. I’ll see you in 2025!

With love
Stephanie

​

My thoughts for Living Life in 2024/5 and beyond:

​

“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
​​
Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,

please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:

http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com

Join my Reader’s Group on Facebook.​

FOLLOW ME Like, post and comment at any of
the links below.

​​​​

​

Dear Reader

Stories that Touch my Heart

​

1. A Published Story

Recently my daughter Amy recommended a book to me: The Angry Women’s Choir by Meg Bignell, set in Tasmania.

I very rarely read a book twice, and rarely in the same year. As soon as I finished this book, I turned to the beginning and started reading it again.

Meg Bignell has such an insight into the world of emotions, and how important it is to find an outlet for them. I cried. I ranted. I grieved. I laughed. I felt compassion and joy. Sometimes in reading a single page!

Her characters are you and me, real people experiencing the ups and downs of life.

I thought I’d share a couple of paragraphs with you, but on reflection, I’m encouraging you to get hold of a copy and read it yourself. I’m sure you’ll have a strong reaction to it too!

2. Inspiring stories from ordinary folk like you and me …

Following on from my little write-up last time about an inspiring ‘older’ woman (Ximena Abogabir Scott – a journalist from Santiago, Chile) I want to share with you is that I believe each of us has a story. And I believe each of us should write our stor; ynd each of us should share our story. I’ll tell you why.

I made a new friend at Olive Cafe, my favourite coffee shop. We got talking about books. When I learned she was an immigrant from the UK, I shared with her about my friend Pat Backley who’s contributing piece in The Warrior Women Project – A sisterhood of Immigrant Women touched my heart. Next time I saw her, my new friend gave me two of her own stories to read – one her grief story, the other her immigrant story.

Too often we balk at putting our words down because of the fear of not being good enough and all those other stumbling block walls we are so good at building in our own way.

I want to assure you that her writing isn’t without flaws. It’s not polished. It’s not Booker Prize ready. It doesn’t have to be to that standard to touch our hearts, to inspire others, to give others a glimpse at your courage and strength, and to show how connected we all are.

It may be because I’ve got my own grief story that I felt the pain of her tale. But I don’t think so. I think it’s because she shared the extent of her pain, telling authentically how the death of her husband left her a widow with two little children when she was just 31 years old. Her story highlighted the ‘stiff upper lip’ attitude of an older generation; the judgements meted out to a young woman doing her best to create a new life for herself and her children; and the economic struggles and stigma of a young mother ‘on the benefit’, raising her children rather than going to work until they were older.

I cried along with her as I read her story. I wished we’d been friends way back then. I would have shared my own story of being widowed with two young children when I myself was still a teenager. We would have found things to laugh about, and I wouldn’t have judged her because she could find something to laugh about in her grief. Laughter is a healing medicine to the broken heart.

Will you have a think about your own stories? Maybe of grief. Maybe of achievement. Maybe of travels. Maybe of child rearing. Maybe of not rearing children. Maybe one of a host of other scenarios.

Would you like commit to writing a draft of your story? All stories start with a draft. Some call it Draft Zero, because they know that it’s not even structured enough for a first draft. But it’s a beginning, a good beginning of your first draft.

The world needs to hear your story. I need to hear it. I’ve long had a secret wish to compile our stories – does the thought of being in such a compilation scare you? GOOD! It means you’re well capable of putting your story down.

It might be something we can contribute to together – or not. Whatever the future is for your story, I hope you’ll pick up pen and paper, or open your computer and sit at the screen and use the keyboard, and begin.

I’m here to encourage you, to hold your hand, to work on my story alongside you, and to cry with joy with you when you put those little words on the page: “THE END”.

Will you do it?

Seasons greetings

It’s that time of year again when our thoughts turn to time with family and friends. Whatever your traditions, I wish you joy and peace and lots of time to share with your loved ones.

Till next time, may you find joy in all you do.

Much love from me to you
Stephanie

​

My thoughts for Living Life in 2024/5 and beyond:

​

“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
​​
Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,

please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:

http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com

Join my Reader’s Group on Facebook.​

FOLLOW ME Like, post and comment at any of
the links below.

​​​​

​

Dear Reader

An Unexpected Review!

Thanks to Pauline Reid (Reviewer NZ) for the amazing review of my little children’s book called Beatrice Learns Compassion, the little angel with one large wing.

“I saw Angel in the title and I thought, that’s it! This would make a brilliant Christmas pressie for kids, nieces, granddaughters and we all know what the angel signifies at this time of year.
​
It’s a very simple book, text one page, illustration on the other. This teaches every female child to be considerate to others and comfort kids their own age and not to side with other bullies when they start with their antics.
​
The quote that melted my heart to a river of love
“As an Angel of Compassion you will help people to soften even their hardest hearts to feel the strength of love and compassion that is their natural state”.
​
All in all, a simple Christmas present with lots of delight, I’m bringing 5 bright stars and juggling them in a circle and keeping them moving around in a ball for my review/rating.

I was gifted a copy of this book while attending a book event at Hamilton, NZ, called @ages_of_pages. I meet the author who lives in Hamilton, however I didn’t learn till later while reading more about the author that she is from Dunedin, my home town where I grew up, wonders never cease.”

Thank you for your review Pauline!

​

An inspiring ‘older’ woman …

​Ximena Abogabir Scott is a journalist from Santiago, Chile. When she turned 70 she found herself being treated differently, as if she was old and infirm and needing to be cared for. Talking with others of a similar age, she realised that this was a common experience amongst women.

Feeling like many of us do, that there’s so much more life ahead, along with her friends, she founded an organisation called Travesia100, which means the Journey to 100. The purpose is to change our mindset about the way we look as we age. The aim is to view age as an opportunity and not as a problem.

“People like me, certainly we’re not young,” she says, “but we are not elders. This is sort of a new generation in the middle.” Her words encourage us, no matter what our age, to “identify what really energizes you, what makes you wake up in the morning with enthusiasm to say, I have something to do. This is a wonderful period of time. How can I give back what I have received? What can I contribute to society now. That’s a very powerful message to help us be alive.”

In my 70s, I’m certainly finding joy in every day. Writing is an activity that enthuses me and I could rave on for ages about my latest WIP and the characters in my new Cosy Mystery novel. The story comes alive for me and develops in my dreams! I’m glad it’s not a horror I’m writing!

I watch my husband, recently retired and in his 70s. He also does what he loves. Volunteering, caring for our neighbourhood, helping out when he can, and still enjoying the puzzles and TV quiz programmes he’s always sharpened his mind with. No wonder our home has a peaceful, happy buzz to it!

Your favourite thoughts?

My “thoughts for living life” need a new one for 2025. Do you have a favourite quote that you’d like to share and think would go well at the end of my newsletter? I’d love to know!

Till next time, may you find joy in all you do.

Love
Stephanie

​

My thoughts for Living Life in 2024 and beyond:

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
​​
Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,

please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:

http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com

Join my Reader’s Group on Facebook.​

FOLLOW ME Like, post and comment at any of
the links below.

​​​​

​

Dear Reader

Embracing reality!

It’s time for an update of my photo – with a hearty “Thank you” to my granddaughter Ana for her patience and skills in taking this photo! Look out for this image on all my social media and website platforms. It’ll take a while, but will be done before Christmas!

​

A rose by any other name …

Would it smell so sweet? I don’t know – the very name conjures up delightful colours and perfumes! And how blessed we are to have them growing in our garden – and along the path to our front door. The name of the first we come to appealed to my sense of humour. Do you know “hokey pokey”? Here in NZ it’s loved mostly because it’s a flavour of ice-cream – vanilla with little bits of honeycomb toffee – a little like butterscotch brittle – in it. And our hokey pokey rose smells as divine as the ice-cream tastes!

And the next in line is Carolyn – delicate pink in colour with a delicate fragrance.

I love roses in every stage of their blossoming cycle. I dry the petals for Suraya and she makes rose water out of them. The perfume lasting long after the flowers are gone.

Best of all for me, though, is I see these two standard rose bushes from my office window. We chose standards because they can be enjoyed whether we are inside or out. And while they are in bloom, even inclement weather doesn’t spoil my enjoyment!

Who would have thought!

My dear friend, Beth, is a busy woman, juggling work, visits to her parents, and caring for her own and their homes. She shared her recent visit with her grandchildren. The depth of her love for them touched my heart. What touched me more was how invigorated and joyful she was feeling after a full on few days.

In spite of the stress of her busy schedule, I could tell she was really happy. Her cup was refilled and her energy renewed. My thought when I noticed this was: “Being with the grandkids is like giving yourself a big dose of self-care.”

Looking back over the past few weeks, I can make the same observation for myself.

One day recently, I walked into the grocery store just as my grandson Ethan was coming out. He had popped in during his lunch hour to get some lunch. We spent just a few minutes catching up yet it was enough to energise me as I whipped through the aisles, arriving at the checkout with a big smile still plastered on my face and in my heart. Self-care to the max!

Granddaughter Loki and I spent a few hours together driving to Suraya’s photoshoot venue. (I MIGHT share the photos – me, an underwear model at age 77! REALLY???) Loki is a physically beautiful young woman yet what shone through most for me that day was feeling the depth and strength of her inner beauty as we talked of things in a way we don’t often have the space to. Blessings!

This past month we’ve enjoyed the company of grandchildren and their children, always a treat. Atawhai and Payton brought Haven who just turned 2. And Tisa brought Lane who turns 2 next month. Lane’s Aunty Loki came too. Double blessings.

Little ones and older ones together! It’s lovely to see the parents interacting with their youngsters. truly a breath of fresh air to my heart and soul.

And sometimes, as I did with Loki and Ethan, I get to spend one-on-one time with the grandchildren. Manasseh and I had lunch together at a local cafe, just before he took off for Ethiopia to spend a few months with his parents and sister, Aria. While he was there, another sibling, Isaiah turned up – a surprise for everyone. And oh my goodness! The reaction from his mum, my daughter Rebecca, touched my heart. I knew exactly how she was feeling, the joy and gratitude that comes when you are embracing your dearest souls to you. Priceless.

Seeing Isaiah’s reception and knowing his love for his family, reminded me of an unexpected birthday treat I gave him years ago. He was in his early teens and loved football. I took him to see a game – I don’t know who played who, or who won. But I remember watching him watching the game. He was enthralled, and I was enthralled with him. It was a precious outcome – I gave him his ticket – he gave me the joy of being able to share in his joy and excitement. And it wasn’t until a couple of years ago when I visited him on a trip to Australia that I was to experience time alone with him again – a reminder how precious each and every one of my 59 descendants are to me and, whether I get to see them, spend time with them alone or with others, or whether I just see their name on my birthday calendar, my heart fills with joy and gratitude that we are connected. I am blessed to have been chosen to be the one who started it all those years ago by bringing one of their parents (or grandparents or great and 2ndgreat grandparents) into the world.

If you haven’t yet read the article I wrote about being a Grandparent that was featured in last month’s edition of The Relatable Voice Magazine, I invite you to check it out: The Relatable Voice Magazine I’m sure by now you know how important family is to me ❤️

​

ePaanui – the Newsletter of our local Library

I was nervous to provide an article for our Library’s Newsletter and hesitated about giving you a link. Still, we’re all friends here, and thinking that I can share more with you this way helped me overcome my fears. “Feel the fear and do it anyway!” Dear Shakti Gawain – helped me many, many times over the years since I first read her book! And besides – it’s up to you whether you read it or not, isn’t it? And if I don’t share, you definitely won’t read. 😊

The Hamilton Library ePaanui Newsletter​

​

Till next time, may you find joy in all you do.

Love
Stephanie

​

My thoughts for Living Life in 2024 and beyond:

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
​​
Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,

please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:

http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com

Join my Reader’s Group on Facebook.​

FOLLOW ME Like, post and comment at any of
the links below.

​​​​

​