Dear Reader

Living in Hope in Today’s World

We love where we live and mostly this is because of the people who live and work throughout our neighbourhood: people from the United Kingdom, the Philipines, Malaysia, India, China, the Middle East and Africa, to name a few.

Our little street reflects this mix as well. I marvel at the empathy and respect we have for each other’s culture and way of life. Most of all, I notice the depth of love and compassion threaded throughout our interactions with each other.

Maybe this is rare and a reflection of my conscious decision to surround myself with people who care about the welfare of others. But I don’t think so. I notice kindness and respect wherever we go – the bus drivers, other travellers, people who serve at the supermarket and other stores, customers, fellow walkers.

Our local cafe and the gym are amongst our favourite places. At our coffee get togethers after our gym class the conversation often turns to our individual ethnic backgrounds and our diversity of cultures. The cafe is run by a Chinese couple who love to make everyone feel special. And the atmosphere reflects their attitude. We have lived in our current home for over five years now and we met many who we count as dear friends at the cafe. The gym is also a warm friendly place where we’ve met people we’ve come to value and care about.

In spite of this very comforting and joyous social environment, I’ve recently been experiencing feelings of hopelessness. Throughout my life I’ve lived in hope that during my lifetime the world John Lennon sang of in his song Imagine would come to pass. After all, so many of us had/have that same hope.

Unfortunately, political leadership doesn’t appear to reflect the same level of compassion and respect for those they govern – for those who elected them. With the world being more accessible, an awareness of the diversity of cultures and lifestyles hasn’t led to a world of respect for others.

I’ve come to see that it isn’t enough to live with love and compassion in our own world of our local communities. We need that attitude to be embraced by our leaders and be extended to other nations and people throughout the world.

I’m dreaming, I guess, if I hope for a reversal of what I see currently. Compassion in general is not perceived as a valid attribute in leadership. The thought, for example, is that economics may suffer if we commit to putting an end to homelessness and inequities.

My first draft of this newsletter centred around a series of videos we have recently watched. We have both loved our opportunities to visit other countries and would like to do more of that as we are now retired. However, we have chosen to holiday close to home, and not add to the burden of global warming.

To feed our hunger for experiencing the beauty and complexity of other countries and people, we’ve taken to watching YouTube videos. We’ve visited the beauty of diverse countries such as Africa, Iran, Latvia, Montenegro, and Lord Howe Island along with our YouTube guides. We’ve also delved into the sciences to understand how our world is formed and more about the diversity of fauna.

But threaded throughout all these videos is the reminder that violence has shaped the landscape since ancient times. Walls were constructed for protection from invaders. Magnificent edifices were constructed as symbols of power. There’s a thread of needing to protect resources as much as people that permeates the narratives.

Even today, as it’s been for centuries, environmental destruction and human suffering is the result of others greed for resources and power.

I started to ask Why? Why are we still doing this to each other and to Papatuanuku/Gaia/Mother Earth? And then I realised that that’s not the question.

The questions might be twofold. How and When? When will we, the ordinary people who are not represented in our leaders and others who’s hunger is for resources and power, when will we raise our voices loud enough to be honoured? And How will we be heard?

Are we part of the solution or are we the problem? Is that the question?

I don’t know – are these the questions? What are the consequences of doing what we are always doing?

A shift has to come if humanity is to survive here on the earth.

I invite you to join this discussion. I don’t have the answers, and as you see I don’t even know if I have the questions. What I do have is an ache in my core for how nations cannot live in harmony with each other and the earth.

This ache surfaced after my last newsletter – and I want to close now with a sentence from my closing paragraph:

And may I add:

With love, always,
Stephanie

Why I Write – for you and for me too.

Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart.

I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward.

I write to bring a little encouragement, comfort and joy into my life and yours.

With love,
Stephanie

My thoughts for Living Life in 2026 and beyond:

​

“My religion is kindness”

Dalai Lama

“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back – buttered”

Doris May Payne – my mother

“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
​​
Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,
please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:

http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com

FOLLOW ME
Join me on my Substack.
Like, post and comment at any of the links below.

​​​

​

Dear Reader

The power of family was brought home to me on Sunday through a documetary we saw at a movie theatre in Hamilton. Tenor – My Name is Pati was recommended to us by several friends so we knew we were in for a treat.

It’s the story of Pene Pati and his brother Amitai Pati’s journey from Samoa to success in the trio Sol3 Mio, and onto the world’s great opera stages. I know a little of Samoan family culture through my son-in-law and his family – predominantly through his respect and love for his parents, my daughter and their children, and his love and service for others.

The movie of Pati brothers showed me the universality of the depth, breadth, beauty and power of Samoan family life. Above all, above one’s own success, the family honour and opportunities for growth and success came first.

I’ve long believed that one cannot be disadvantaged by ensuring another’s success. The movie shows the truth of this. The power and success that came to Pene through his willingness to put others first is demonstrated in a way that I felt is available to us all.

But the power of family is not only that which is represented on the big screen. As I write this, today would be my brother Digby’s 80th birthday. I’m feeling the depth of loss of my family – those who have passed and those who live far away. I’m remembering those precious family times, especially those with my siblings.

This photo is one of the last times we three musketeers were together, feeling hale and hearty. A few short years later, Digby was gone.

Growing up, we loved the beach and shared memorable times together, although I don’t remember where this next photo was taken it was typical of a day out together.

Together we weathered many storms, especially in our childhood. And although as adults time and distance separated us, that bond was always easy to rekindle.

Last newsletter I shared how I know I’m so lucky to have a sister and that there’s a special link we have because the blood running through our veins is the same. So it is with having a brother. I’m lucky to have both – a brother and a sister.

Whatever I’ve done in my life, I could pick up the phone to share with them. They have always been supportive and encouraging, full of love and making me feel strong and capable. When times were tough, they were there to lift me up.

Family’s have that power. Parents are important in nurturing the ground and planting the seeds for the flowers of joy they bring into the world. But for me, it’s my siblings that provided the sunshine and shared an environment that encouraged the joy to thrive.

Memories are precious. I would have loved to have celebrated my brother’s 80th birthday with him. His sense of humour and good nature would have created a wonderful party atmosphere! I have memories just as precious of both my siblings. To Digby who is not here now – thank you for enriching my life.

And to Megan who is my precious angel – thank you for bringing joy into our lives when we were in our darkest days. Your little reminders of how I am loved, like this one, are scattered around our home.

I’m so grateful I can hop on a plane and be with you in a few hours, my precious angel. Yay for technological advances in our time!

May we always be aware of the power of family – whether it’s our blood tribe, our street community, or our human global family. It’s through connection that we get our greatest joy.

With love, always,
Stephanie

Why I Write – for you and for me too.

Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart.

I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward.

I write to bring a little encouragement, comfort and joy into my life and yours.

With love,
Stephanie

My thoughts for Living Life in 2026 and beyond:

​

“My religion is kindness”

Dalai Lama

“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back – buttered”

Doris May Payne – my mother

“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
​​
Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,
please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:

http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com

FOLLOW ME
Join me on my Substack.
Like, post and comment at any of the links below.

​​​

​

Dear Reader

After three weeks or so since my recent visit, I’m back here in Australia, visiting family again.

This time I’m travelling alone. I’m no stranger to solo travelling and I admit I love it. However, this time it felt like I was on an automated conveyor belt, passing through the landscape at my own pace but in a set order and direction, to be plonked in my airline seat and then spat out the other side into the arms of my niece Jane who came to pick me up.

I’d left home at midnight local time (Brisbane) and was greeted by Jane about nine hours later – all in all the flight itself was three hours. Other than with my husband and niece, there was no personal conversation at all. I had this sense I was invisible. Weird.

I’m here visiting my sister. We’ve been having a beautiful time enjoying the beautiful connection we’ve had since she was born. Here I am, aged eight, proud big sister of Megan aged two.

My sister is one of life’s angels, born to bring joy and comfort to others. Regardless of the busyness of her job, or the directives of her ‘superiors’ I know my sister would never have let anyone pass her in those airport cattle lines without a smile, a cheery word and looking them in the eye and letting them know they were seen.

​

I’m so lucky to have a sister. We both have special friends who are like sisters to each of us and we value the sisterhood that comes through shared life experiences.

But there’s a special link we have because the blood running through our veins is the same.

It’s precious spending time together. I love the way we slip into the old familiar ways of being when we are together. Almost speaking in a code that requires few words and that is embellished with heart-felt love and kindness. It’s always been like this.

I go home in a few days and don’t know when I’ll be back. But I’m treasuring this time and taking away memories more precious than anything this world has to offer. Our lives as family show me that love is all there is – and it’s worth holding dear. I came here because of my love for my sister and our family. It’s the one constant thing in my life and always will be precious to me. The courage my sister has and the love she has in her heart for others and all earth’s creatures has always been an inspiration to me.

It’s special in her and when I witness these traits in our daughters and sons, I treasure them too.

I’d like to leave you with this thought. You and I are not invisible. Whether we’re in amongst the crowds; amidst the weird things going on in our world; when times are tough; when times are easy; when we’re surrounded by the sea of human complexity, we are not invisible. I see you. You see me. We see each other.

May we always know we are seen. May we always act in ways that others know we see them too.

With love, always,
Stephanie

Why I Write – for you and for me too.

Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart.

I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward.

I write to bring a little encouragement, comfort and joy into my life and yours.

With love,
Stephanie

My thoughts for Living Life in 2026 and beyond:

​

“My religion is kindness”

Dalai Lama

“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back – buttered”

Doris May Payne – my mother

“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
​​
Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,
please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:

http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com

FOLLOW ME
Join me on my Substack.
Like, post and comment at any of the links below.

​​​

​

Dear Reader

Taking some respite

Family matters took me to Brisbane for a visit recently. It never ceases to amaze me how we can find joy even when we are feeling overwhelmed. And during the few days I was there, there were many moments of joy. For example:

My daughter Amy lives close to a place I spent some of my childhood and while she and her partner,Jamie, and my other daughter, Suraya, took off for a bit of exercise more strenuous than appealed to me at the time, I took the opportunity to meander and enjoy some parts of nature that always lift my spirits.
​

I love that the beach is never the same – whether it’s the same location or the beach in any other part of the world. Its diversity is what draws me, feeds my soul, and calms and restores me. Years ago when I was challenged by someone saying that I couldn’t possibly have a relationship with the land because I wasn’t of first nation heritage – my answer was: “That may be so, but all I know is – trees and water – without them I die!” It’s how I still feel. And here I was, being revived again through my relationship with the earth – trees and water!

Since those earlier days I’ve researched my ancestry and find that I actually do have first nation heritage – through my Irish and Scottish roots as well as through my Australian Aboriginal lineage. Not that it gives me a unique claim to a special relationship with the land. We all can lay such claims if our hearts cry for it, regardless of our DNA heritage. We are all children of Papatūānuku – the Earth Mother in Māori tradition. She nourishes us and in return we honour her and care for her.

My little day out had another gift. Remember those caricature photos my grandson Eli made at Christmas time that I shared? Here’s a caricature that Amy made out of a photo she took that day at the beach.

I love this picture because it emphasises my love of writing in nature. Perhaps there’s a future book titled Tales by the Sea with my name on it?

Family means the world to me. I have so many memories of being a mother, watching my sons and daughters grow into their own persons. That I can still play with them and enjoy their good humour is a treat I can not get enough of. I say the same of the time spent with my nieces, Jane and Maddie.

And especially with my dear sister Megan. I love the way we slip into the old familiar ways of being when we are together. Almost speaking in a code that requires few words and that is embellished with heart-felt love and kindness.

I’ll be returning soon, to share in more of this loving exchange.

Until mid March – with love, always,
Stephanie

Why I Write – for you and for me too.

Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart.

I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward.

I write to bring a little encouragement, comfort and joy into my life and yours.

With love,
Stephanie

My thoughts for Living Life in 2026 and beyond:

​

“My religion is kindness”

Dalai Lama

“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back – buttered”

Doris May Payne – my mother

“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
​​
Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,
please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:

http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com

FOLLOW ME
Join me on my Substack.
Like, post and comment at any of the links below.

​​​

​

Dear Reader

Having Confidence in Ourselves

One of the women I most admire is Marie Curie. She was born in Poland in 1867. She received two Nobel Prizes for her work: one in chemistry and one in physics – the first woman to receive Nobel Prize in two distinct scientific domains. I honour you, Marie!
​
​

What I admire most about her is her tenacity. It was not easy for her to work in a discipline traditionally dominated by men. She acknowledged that struggle is part of being human and not unique to one individual. With this attitude, she encourages us to believe in ourselves.

For many of us, it’s hard to believe we have gifts, let alone a specific gift for something. I’ve noticed throughout life that most people don’t recognise their special gifts, or talents, as being unique to them. They think everyone has that trait, or it can’t be special to them because it’s ‘just the way’ they are. It comes easy to them, so it must be easy for others.

Many Facebook stories tell of the kindnesses of the checkout operators, for example. Some might think that’s just part of the job. But we all know that not every checkout operator is overtly welcoming. In fact, it might be that some think the aim is to push the groceries through as fast as possible, take the payment, say “Have a nice day” and go on to the next customer.

But I know how important that skill is. The number of times I’ve left the checkout with a smile on my face because of the interaction with the staff proves to me that when someone has the confidence to make a mundane activity an event in customers’ life, they’ve made a choice that has a ripple effect no one will ever see the extent of. I leave the supermarket smiling and that triggers a mirroring smile from the person coming towards me. And where does it go from there? I don’t know, but I do believe it ripples outward – to infinity.

What else does Marie Curie say?

Here’s a couple of her other quotes I love that encourage me to focus my efforts in the adventure part of my every day experience.

If we could only learn this next of her thoughts early in life, so much pain would be averted, I’m sure.

How many times have we been stunted in our growth – in our education, our careers, our personal lives, in learning new crafts and skills, in planning for our future – because of our fears.

Fear of failing – or succeeding. Fear of what others may think of us. Fear of ‘biting off more than we can chew’. These and many other fears often stop us before we’ve barely begun.

Understanding is underrated. We often don’t realise that struggle is part of success. We need to change our habits – so to take on a new one requires effort. We want to learn a language – making new sounds doesn’t come easy to most of us at first. It needs perseverence and

This is so often the case, isn’t it? You may have had a boss who only saw your work this way. I know I did. And how discouraging is it to have your work dismissed and devalued this way?

I’ve begun to learn that it’s even worse when I do this to myself. In truth ‘IT’ is never finished. If we tell ourselves we’ll celebrate when ‘IT is finished’, or something similar, we deny ourselves the joys of small accomplishments.

We are born and we die. Death comes to all of us in the end. It’s inevitable. How we live our lives mirrors our willingness to take the next steps in life – living a life well leaves a legacy none of us can ever conceive of because of the ripple effect. I could go on and on about the influences of people in my life who’s tiny actions warm my heart decades later, giving me courage and filling me with love for us all in the common struggles of our being part of the human family..

May we all find that spark of our own special gifts and have the confidence to share them honestly and with humility, with the courage that comes from knowing we are all part of the ripple effect that tells each of us we are loved.

With love,
Stephanie

Why I Write – for you and for me too.

Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart.

I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward.

I write to bring a little encouragement, comfort and joy into my life and yours.

With love,
Stephanie

My thoughts for Living Life in 2026 and beyond:

​

“My religion is kindness”

Dalai Lama

“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back – buttered”

Doris May Payne – my mother

“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
​​
Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,
please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:

http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com

FOLLOW ME
Join me on my Substack.
Like, post and comment at any of the links below.

​​​

​

Dear Reader

First, let me assure you I am doing well and including some new strategies into my day to day life that are already paying dividends. Life is good.

The Uncertainty of Life

I wanted to share the events of Thursday last week that show the prompt for the theme of this newsletter. My Thursday included visits with two friends and the dentist, interspersed with home time with my hubby, and daughter recently returned from Australia.

The visits started with coffee with a dear friend at Olive’s, our local cafe. We meet often and chat about all sorts of things that women of a certain age have in common – children, grandchildren, aches and pains, other interesting things that stimulate our grey matter, memories – things like that. And soon the time is up and we feel fulfilled.

Next came lunch (again at Olive’s) with another dear friend and her husband who were passing through Hamilton on their way to holidaying in the South Island. We haven’t had a chance to catch up in person for over two years so it was a very enjoyable and fulfilling visit.

My last appointment of the day was with the dentist. He had left his old practice and when I found out where he was now working I made an appointment so he could give my teeth the once over and do a couple of fillings. It was a joy to relax in the chair and know I was in competent and kind hands for the next hour and forty-five minutes.

I was particularly grateful for this last appointment because I had taken a phone call from my sister as I parked in front of the dental surgery, fifteen minutes early for my appointment. I was able to lie there and process her call with virtually no interruptions.

My sister was ringing to let me know she had some medical tests which didn’t show promising results. She is quite ill. Tests are ongoing to show the extent of the problem and determine a treatment plan. She is in relatively good spirits and has confidence in her medical team.

I am often astounded how life’s challenging events come surrounded by joy and beauty and gratitude. Am I ever prepared for the challenges? I certainly had no foresight of my sister’s illness, and if there were clues, I didn’t pick up on them.

Yet the joy of my day wasn’t negated by my sister’s call. If anything, the visits shored me up to better handle and process her news while I was at the dentist.

The next time hubby and I went for our morning walk, we discovered the sunflowers I’d planted a few weeks ago have blossomed.

They remind me that the rain and sun and wind too, perhaps, are important for their growth and ability to give, not only to the bee you might be able to see on the left, but also to us humans.

I am reminded too of the similarity between the sunflowers’ trials through nature and what I experienced last Thursday through shock and grief interspersed with the warmth of my friends’ love. And, long after the sunflowers leave the garden, I will be warmed by the memory of the gift of their beauty and equate it to both the love of friends – and of my sister.

May you be similarly supported during life’s uncertainty that comes your way.

With love,
Stephanie

Why I Write – for you and for me too.

Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart.

I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward.

My thoughts for Living Life in 2026 and beyond:

​

“My religion is kindness”

Dalai Lama

“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back – buttered”

Doris May Payne – my mother

“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
​​
Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,
please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:

http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com

FOLLOW ME
Join me on my Substack.
Like, post and comment at any of the links below.

​​​

​

Dear Reader

Update for New Adventures 🙂

I wrote last time about some of the health trials of 2025. This newsletter continues the theme with some of the ponderings from the last two weeks.

I am happy to share that I’ve had x-rays that have revealed I have degenerative arthritis in my lower spine and in the rght side of the sacroiliac joint.

This new diagnosis of “degenerative arthritis” is thrilling in a way. I’m exploring what the medical research says about treatments, deciding which ones I want to try and which ones I will leave aside. I visit my doctor today and I’ll be discussing with her what she considers the best options.

In the meantime, the advice I’ve researched is to move a lot more than I have been able to lately. And, in following that advice, the pain has subsided.

I’m curious to find what else I can do to alleviate the impact of this disease. I’m reading Plant Powered Plus by Dr Will Bulsiewicz – a book that’s given me insight into the inflammation of arthritis and other ‘age-related’ diseases.

Reflections on the aging process

A greater part of my current life is understanding this adventure into aging. Looking back, I realise I’ve rarely felt old. I’ve never thought of myself as being old. I think this is true of us all. My thoughts are of my younger self. I remember when I went to university in my mid 30s I would totally forget my age when talking with other students. Then I’d look into the mirror when I went to the toilet. I’d get a shock – “Is that really me? I look so old!” It was indeed a shock.

And here I find myself doing the same thing in my 70s. I go to the gym and do my workout amongst folk of different ages and I don’t really think of how old I am.

But this last year has brought it home to me: My body is showing signs of aging.

Should we prepare our mindset for an aging body?

What would I say to my 35 year old self? Or myself in my 40s, or 50s, or 60s? Would I then be able to make a difference to the way I handled the different stages of aging?

Would menopause (in all its stages) have been any different? Could I have prepared myself mentally to understand and allow for the tendency to shuffle my feet and not lift them over the hazards on the footpaths. Could I have saved myself from the falls? Would I have gone to the gym class for older folk earlier than I did? Would I know that to be prepared would save me from the falls, teach me how to recover my balance before I fell? Would I have gone to gymnastic classes with my daughter and learned these skills in my 30s?

This year I’ve realised that I am physically less able to enjoy the adventures of the past. Could I have prepared myself to be aware, at least, of the physical limitations that come even though the mental awareness is still agile and full of ferocious curiosity, even more so than when I was younger?

I don’t honestly know. Maybe it’s part of the human condition. Maybe it’s just the paradox of getting older. What I do know though is: I have become more accepting of the unexpectedness of aging. I’m planning to enjoy as much of life as I can experience, both physically and mentally.

Certainly there are a lot of quotes that show that others have been thinking similarly.

• Meryl Streep: “Aging is not for the weak. One day you wake up and realize that your youth is gone, but along with it, so go insecurity, haste, and the need to please… Aging means letting go, it means accepting, it means discovering that beauty was never in our skin… but in the story we carry inside us”.
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• Ingrid Bergman: “Getting old is like climbing a mountain; you get a little out of breath, but the view is much better!”
  ​
• Albert Camus: “The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young” (referring to the young heart inside a breaking body).

Definitely these quotes give me something to think about. Still, I can’t help thinking that they are quotes from the perspective of hindsight. I’d like to have found a bit of wisdom I can share that will prepare me (us) for the next stage of life.

I don’t think it’s findable. If I’m pressed to give some words of advice from my experience, this is what I’d say.

• Be gentle on yourself.
• Don’t believe the stories you tell yourself that berate yourself for not being able to keep up as time passes.
• Don’t put it down to inattention or deficiency that you can work yourself out of.
• Keep up your yearly doctor health checks.
• Keep interested in people and activities that give you joy.
• Remember love is the only emotion worth fostering: love of self, family, friends, nature, and every other person who shares the planet with us.
• Remember that as the body slows, your enjoyment turns to equally important things. It’s just up to you to find what things are important to you.
• Build memories at every stage of life. Memories of a younger self and of the people who spiced your life are the most precious.

I actually don’t think Albert Camus had it right. I don’t think old age inherently holds tragedies. Nurturing my young heart has become my life’s work. I may live to be over 100 as I’ve long planned – or not. But I will LIVE a joyful, loving life as long as my body has breath, regardless of the challenges the outer shell present me.

Again, as January draws to a close, here’s to an amazing 2026 for us all – regardless of the downs we may face, may we all find those little things that brings us joy and love this year.

With love,
Stephanie

Why I Write – for you and for me too.

Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart.

I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward.

My thoughts for Living Life in 2026 and beyond:

​

“My religion is kindness”

Dalai Lama

“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back – buttered”

Doris May Payne – my mother

“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
​​
Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,
please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:

http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com

FOLLOW ME
Join me on my Substack.
Like, post and comment at any of the links below.

​​​

​

Dear Reader

2026! Time for New Adventures

I am happy to say farewell to 2025, with gratitude for learning more about what’s on the horizon and what I need to approach these new challenges with joyful anticipation.

One of my darling daughters gave us a New Year challenge recently:

I love the simplicity of this concept of choosing a power word. I started reflecting over my life, what I’ve learned brings me joy, and how did my thinking and acting lead to those moments of joy.

Reflections

When I was little, before I knew I was afraid of heights, I used to climb through our back fence and climb as high as I could into the trees. To be honest, it wouldn’t have been high. But that’s one of the things that I remember feeling joyful about – being in the trees. I’m a tree hugger from way back, it seems! And it was the adventure of going alone, through the fence, up the tree that lead me to experience the joy of being in nature.

As I grew, challenges came, as they do for us all. My parents divorced – life changed for my siblings and me. We played games to turn our hearts and thoughts from some of the most horrible experiences. Our “let’s pretend” games turned our lives into joyful adventures – mainly because we were together.

Many years have passed since then, along with many more challenges. You may have been in my life and seen those various life experiences and their challenges. I wonder if you saw that sense of adventure that finally shone through to take me into a place where I found joyful experiences.

So What’s My Power Word?

Looking back, the power word, as it’s been all my life, that lifts me, pushes me, and motivates me to keep going and doing what brings me joy is Adventure.

I need Adventures that not only allow me to explore this beautiful world, but that also give me space to reconnect with myself.

This year I’ve come to realise that, as I am less able to enjoy those physical adventures such as ziplining, my inner world has always been my greatest Adventure.

Exploring the Inner Me

This past year has brought experiences that have challenged thoughts of myself as being ageless. I’m laughing as I write this because I know on some level that’s true – I am ageless, as are we all. Yet I now know that, for me, on the physical level it is far from true.

I’m in the stage of life when the physical presents the greatest adventure of all:

I’ve taken on finding ways of living healthily as an adventure. Not as an adventure to return to the “perfect” health of former times, as was my previous hope and intent. The adventure now is in coming to an understanding of what health at this stage in life means in general, and for me specifically.

And my current thinking with an eye to the adventure in this search has resulted in an extreme mindset shift.

I no longer resist my doctor’s pleas to consider medication. I finally admit that my body needs help. I’m fortunate in having a doctor who is willing to work with me in a way that honours my commitment to the natural ways of healing and I’m hoping she continues to do so. I promise now that I won’t be so stubborn.

I almost gave you a list of this past year’s trials. But hey! It’s not my purpose to seek sympathy – I give myself enough of that, believe me. No, I’m here to make a promise – not a New Year’s resolution, but a whole lifetime of a solemn promise to you – and to myself.

My promise is to embark on the mental, emotional and spiritual adventure to understand the needs of my body and then support it joyfully as it embarks on its own adventure into (dare I say it?) old age. So far, I am committed to the following:

These are just a few things I’ve planned or am doing so far to understand the needs of my body – because I know when I feel good physically I can be more joyful.

​

What’s your Power Word? I’d love to know.

Here’s to an amazing 2026 for us all – regardless of the downs we may face, may we all find our power word that brings us joy.

With love,
Stephanie

Why I Write – for you and for me too.

Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart.

I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward.

My thoughts for Living Life in 2025 and beyond:

​

“My religion is kindness”

Dalai Lama

“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back – buttered”

Doris May Payne – my mother

“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
​​
Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,
please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:

http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com

FOLLOW ME
Join me on my Substack.
Like, post and comment at any of the links below.

​​​

​

Dear Reader

End of Year Musings

It’s been a tough year in many respects – I’ve had several health challenges and some heart wrenching losses. Yet, looking back on the year, I realise it’s been one of the best yet!

During it all, we (Neil and me) took time to clarify what we really want out of our life – right now. We love our home and decided to stay here for the foreseeable future, researching where our next move will take us when the time feels right for us both.

We’ve affirmed that what is a priority is our connections with those we love. It’s these connections that keep our hearts warm and enrich our lives, regardless of what is happening.

We love our friends who live in close proximity – our book club and gym friends and those in other parts of our lives here in Hamilton. And those who live elsewhere throughout the world – mean more to us each passing day.

We love our families. Each family member means more than we could ever show or tell and this year, although we’ve caught up with quite a few who live here in New Zealand and some in Aussie, we miss those we haven’t seen – those who live in some parts of Australia, in the USA, in Germany, and in Ethiopia.

My wish is that one day we’ll all be together in the one place, enjoying the love and fun we’ve shared this year.

Family Get Togethers

A couple of years ago, we started a new tradition – getting together at this time of the year for a shared meal and a walk from our place to see the Christmas lights in a nearby street.

We appreciated the efforts our neighbours put into decorating their homes for our enjoyment!

​

And fun in the house

This year we spread our get together over three nights so we could enjoy time with those who couldn’t make the designated evening.

Grandson Eli amused us with his skill in using the Snap Chat app. Here’s his portraits of me and Neil. I must say, I enjoy the new look! I’m not sure Neil feels the same!

We really do look like old granny and gramps! Thank you Eli!

Seasons Greetings to you all

Here’s to an amazing 2026 for us all – regardless of the downs we may face, may we all share the hope of enjoying the ups that always follow.

With love,
Stephanie

Why I Write – for you and for me too.

Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart.

I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward.

My thoughts for Living Life in 2025 and beyond:

​

“My religion is kindness”

Dalai Lama

“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back – buttered”

Doris May Payne – my mother

“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
​​
Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,
please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:

http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com

FOLLOW ME
Join me on my Substack.
Like, post and comment at any of the links below.

​​​

​

Dear Reader

What do I really want?

It took me many years to begin to move from thinking about “what I don’t want” to “what I do want”. It seemed natural to say I don’t want this or that. There was so much in my life of what I didn’t want.

And then I was challenged by a dear friend: “So what DO you want? Do you know that? I hear all about what you don’t want. Tell me. What DO YOU WANT?”

That led to a lifetime of questioning my thoughts, my actions, my motivations. An understanding of what I want came gradually, changed and refined, and, to be honest, the process is ongoing.

For a long time, one of the things I wanted most was not to be triggered, not to be thrown back into past experiences I hoped I’d left behind. The word itself, triggered, felt Harsh, Sudden, Violent. As if something outside me had all the power.

When I think of being “triggered,” I picture exactly that: something aimed at me, someone pulling the trigger, and me being struck. It’s instantaneous. I have no say in what happens next. Pain. Powerlessness. The familiar echo of old trauma. And in that understanding, I’m not responsible for my reaction because the shot has already been fired – and received.

Most of us don’t consciously attach all that meaning to the word, especially not in the moment of being “triggered”. But our bodies often behave as if it’s true.

Recently I’ve been introduced to a different word. Activated – a word that offers Space. Breath. Choice.

At first it felt almost too gentle, too slow, to describe something that feels so immediate. But the more I sat with it, the more I appreciated its invitation. To say “I am activated” asks something of me. It asks me to notice. To pause. To witness what’s happening inside rather than assume the world has already done something to me. It invites me to pause and to take action, not to react.

I’ve recently taken on the challenge of making sourdough bread, and the process gives an image that stays with me. The first step is creating a starter, a simple mix of flour and water. You leave it on the bench to slowly, quietly, develop its own life as wild yeast and bacteria wake up and begin to multiply.

At a certain point, the mixture becomes active. It bubbles, grows, and becomes capable of transforming dough into bread. But activation isn’t instantaneous. It’s a gradual change. A coming-to-life that can be observed. Responded to. Adjusted.

I’m thinking of my emotional life in the same way. When something upsetting happens, perhaps I’m not “triggered” like a bullet leaving a gun. Perhaps my starter has simply begun to bubble. Something in me is being activated, brought to the surface, inviting me to pay attention.

That shift in language changes the story.

Most of all, it gives me back my agency.

I can’t always control what activates me. But I can practise how I respond once I notice the first bubbles rising. I won’t always get it right – maybe there is no “right”, not like with making sourdough bread. And I certainly haven’t got it right – not yet!

Even in making sourdough bread, it seems there’s a lot of practice required. Here’s a picture of my first loaf. I use that word “loaf” because that was my intent.

In no way could we eat this first attempt. Yet, I will keep practising. I want to make our own bread – with wholemeal flours, water and salt – what better ingredient list can we have. I’ll keep trying, practising, until I’m satisfied I’ve made an edible loaf like this one from the store.

Then I’ll start practising on a different form. Maybe pizza bases, crackers – who knows what else? I’m excited at the thought of how my “activated” starter will create a variety of foodstuffs to enhance our lives.

Being “activated”, for me, feels far more powerful than being “triggered.” I like focusing on this concept of being activated when something disturbs me and I’m excited to feel the difference in my reactions, down to the cellular level.

If being triggered has plagued you in the past, I hope this concept of activation appeals to you and you have fun with it and find a calmer way of dealing with it too.

With love,
Stephanie

Why I Write – for you and for me too.

Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart.

I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward.

My thoughts for Living Life in 2025 and beyond:

​

“My religion is kindness”

Dalai Lama

“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back – buttered”

Doris May Payne – my mother

“Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing”

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck”
​​
Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,
please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:

http://www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com

FOLLOW ME
Join me on my Substack.
Like, post and comment at any of the links below.

​​​

​