Stephanie Hammond Author

Stories of heart, hope, and second chances

Category: Newsletters

  • Age – is it just a number?

    Age – is it just a number?

    How old am I? Am I as old as I feel?
    Or am I as old as my numbers say?

    Dear Reader

    Age – is it just a number? Is 70 really the new 50? Are you as old as you feel? I honestly don’t think about age very much, at least not in the way I think I would if I thought I am “getting old”.

    But something happened the other day to make me think.

    The photo on the left is of my mother in her 20s and on the bottom right she is in her 70s, about the age I am now. The other photos are of me at various stages, finding joy in life. Am I as old as I feel, ie young as in these photos? Or do I have to accept that I’m as old as my numbers say I am? It’s a paradox!

    ​

    My Friend IS 80

    The other day, as I waited for my husband to finish his gym class, my friend came out, looking a bit ‘done in’. “Hard class, was it?” I asked her.

    “Yes! I’m going to have to slow down I think. I’m 80 you know!” She laughed but I didn’t. As she turned to go down the stairs I felt a shockwave of memories flood through my body – challenging my concept of my own mortality.

    Memory 1

    Years ago I took my baby ‘home’ to Australia for a holiday. Here we visited the older generation, on my dad’s side. 12 of us sat around the lunch table. I was 36, my baby 12 months old. Everyone else was 60 or older. The conversation somehow turned to how old we felt. The adult consensus, me included, was “I don’t feel older than 25!” Made me think!

    Memory 2

    A few years before we moved to New Zealand (that’s a story for another time!) we were blessed to have my father-in-law live with us. Although he was less than 50 at the time, he had experienced several strokes and was barely able to feed and dress himself. His memory for details wasn’t the best. One day he asked how old he was. When we told him, he asked; “Am I? Am I really that old?” He was incredulous. It still amazes me to think that within his broken body lived a strong and youthful spirit of a man. Made me think!

    Memory 3

    During my planning consultancy, I worked for a man whose mother hosted our business meetings. She was extraordinary. Nothing was too much trouble whether it was cooking us a treat, making beds for late night stayers, running to the store for supplies. A real ball of energy. But what stays with me the most is her often saying: “I’ll be 80 in a minute!” in the most incredulous tone. Made me think!

    And So to Today

    Now, I’ve come full circle – my friend from the gym IS 80. And all of a sudden I feel that “I’ll be 80 in a minute!” These memories jolted me out of my complacent enjoyment of myself in my 70s. Feeling the excitement of learning, of putting energy into my writing career, of feeling the strength and increasing flexibility of my body, of feeling invincible or at least like I did in those earlier photos of me, I felt sure I would enjoy life till I’m 140 years old (so much I want to do and see!) Now, I hear myself say to that ‘me’ who lives by the numbers: “Hang on a minute, Stephanie! Don’t you know we’ll be 80 in a minute?”

    Yes, time flies – not obvious during each day perhaps. But the months and years do seem to fly by. “Time flies when you’re having fun!” And I admit it. I’m having fun! I love my life. At the end of each day I love to reflect on the joyous moments the day has brought. Now though, I look back at my former client’s mother’s words and I understand what she was saying.

    Not this next minute – but it’s true for me too: I’ll be 80 one of these minutes – and that time isn’t too far away!

    What about you? How old do you feel?

    ​

    AN ADDICT IN THE FAMILY – A MOTHER’S TALE OF HEARTBREAK, COURAGE, AND RESILIENCE

    ​You can order a copy from Amazon here​

    Have any questions? Email me at Stephanie@StephanieHammondAuthor.com
  • My Writing Life…

    My Writing Life…

    Dear Reader

    I’m often asked ‘How do you spend your day?’ and ‘How’s your writing going?’

    Being a writer is a multi-faceted occupation. There’s a lot to managing the peripheral processes that bring the story to life. There’s the editing, proofreading, cover design, writing short blurbs about the book, publishing. Each has its own criteria. I also spend time in developing content for my website and these newsletters.

    I don’t divide my days into each of these activities. I do have a notebook with copious To Do Lists, one for each segment of the job of being a writer. There are a lot of tasks on these lists. To be honest, I do the one that’s on the top of my mind first. Today, it’s writing this newsletter.

    So you tell me: How do I spend my day? How’s my writing going? I don’t have a short answer – and I doubt my long answer is what my querents are expecting!​​

    WHAT I’M READING

    In our household, our current passion is for the historical fiction works of Vicky Adin. I particularly like the dual-timeline style of telling her stories. I also like the focus on antipodean life she writes about so well. I live in the antipodes and I’m learning so much more about our history that puts today’s life and values into a clearer perspective.

    For example, Lucy, the Suffragist is a masterclass in how to write a dual-timeline novel and how to use both current happenings together with well researched historical events. I can’t say enough good things about this particular books and Vicky’s works in general. Maybe these books seem like they are women’s fiction, but my husband loves these books as well.

    HOBBIES, PASSIONS, AND OTHER INTERESTS

    I’m so immersed with the writing process you might think that’s the sum total of my life. But that’s not so! I’ve long held a desire to live a long, active, healthy life. Years ago I read about the Hunza people in Pakistan who exceed a lifespan of 120 years. And I thought “Why not me too?” It’s long been a focus and my youngest daughter has taken up the challenge to help me achieve this.

    Recently she introduced me to the concept of Slow Burn exercising and I’ve just started this type of workout. The aim is to build muscle, which is so important as we age. Apparently, muscle doesn’t know ‘age’ as such. My aim is to be stronger and I figure it can’t hurt to try.

    We’ve added a sauna to the mix, and with my weekly class and almost daily walks, I’m feeling much stronger already!

    FYI: Slow burn is a form of strength training that uses very slow, smooth, and controlled lifting and lowering movements on machines found at the gym. And we’re talking really slow. The method is said to be an efficient way to become stronger, more flexible, and improve endurance in just two 30-minute workouts a week.

    SELF CARE TIPS

    One of the most important strategies for survival I learned through my adventure I wrote about in An Addict in the Family is self care. These little tips are some of the things I do for ‘self care’.

    Tip 1: Do something every day that gives you joy.

    Things I do include:

    • Chat to a friend – phone, messaging, in person
    • Go to the gym
    • Read
    • Watch Richard Osman’s House of Games for intellectual stimulation – and an opportunity for a real belly laugh!
    • Soak in the bath (magnesium + epsom salts + essential oils = divine self care)
    • Do the daily Wordle and Wordle with Friends
    • Or do Sudoku or Crossword Puzzle
    • Garden
    • Go for a walk – we have a river environment plus parks to walk in
    • Ask my husband for a hug – or give him one!
    • Smile

    And much more! You’ll find your own special ‘joy creating moments’ and I’d love to hear about them.

    ​****

    AN ADDICT IN THE FAMILY – A MOTHER’S TALE OF HEARTBREAK, COURAGE, AND RESILIENCE

    ​Order a copy from Amazon here​

    Have any questions? Email me at

    Stephanie@StephanieHammondAuthor.com