Our Family Circle is rich with …

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Dear Reader

BIRTHDAYS, FAREWELLS, AND WELCOMES

Birthdays

For two months of the year my husband and I are the same age. The rest of the year I’m those few months older. He’s just had his 3/4 century birthday and we celebrated with a no fuss day.

We did our daily forty minute walk along the river. Then we enjoyed a special lunch at Gothenburg – a tapas restaurant that we love. I took him shopping to buy a present he’d mentioned a few times and home for a leisurely afternoon. No fuss day, but a day full of love.

We recently celebrated great-granddaughter Billie’s third birthday. It was a wonderful opportunity to catch up with some of the family and see Billie enjoy being spoiled on her special day.

We celebrated granddaughter Bella’s birthday on Waiheke Island. Bella collaborated with me as the illustrator on the children’s book, Beatrice Learns Compassion. On our return from Waiheke, we caught up with great-grandson Bragi, returning from his celebration in Auckland for his second birthday. He’s grown! And is talking up a storm!

Another milestone birthday (two actually!) – 21st birthday celebrations for Ben and Grace – also on Waiheke Island – we are grateful we are able to travel again with all COVID 19 restrictions lifted! Going to Waiheke is like going to the Mediterranean – a totally different climate so close to home.

Farewells

Billie’s grandparents, my daughter Rebecca and husband Oli, recently left for Ethiopia where they will be for the next three years. It’s wonderful to have technology benefits of communication that helps them to be in the forefront of the little ones’ minds. Still, I miss her! We had thought we would go and visit, but feel that probably won’t happen for us. So hearing about their doings vvia the internet is a wonderful blessing.

Welcomes

We love our home down a right of way. It’s like we have our own little community. Our neighbours are friendly and we watch out for each other. I particularly love the age group mix – we have three young families, a single woman, and four older couples.

One of the families has their parents visiting for a few months. They speak a different language to us and it’s fun trying to communicate. I THINK I’m understood. We enjoyed a shared lunch. With the younger generation translating for us, we covered a variety of topics with lots of laughter. I hope they feel welcome in our home, in our country.

REFLECTIONS – AFTER AN ADDICT IN THE FAMILY

Writing my memoir, and the experiences that prompted the writing, have given me a greater insight into the world of addiction. It’s hard to believe the number of people who have either been caught in the web through their own use of addictive substances, or through the effects of a loved one’s addiction.

People are sharing their response to reading An Addict in the Family, many marvelling at how I describe their story so well. I have been aware that my story is not unique – oh how I wish it were! It is heartening to learn that my story gives others a sense of connection with another – someone who knows what they’re going through or have been through. Connection with others when we are going through such traumatic experiences is critical. Generally, ‘normal’ conversation doesn’t give us the opportunity to know we are not alone in what is happening to us. We feel so alone.

Another insight is how closely related trauma and addiction are. There’s a lot written on this subject, and lots of technical literature. I’ll review some of these in future newsletters or posts.

If you’d like to share your experience, or reaction to the book, please go to our Facebook Reader’s Page and share there.

SELF CARE TIP

This is a self care tip I struggled to implement – I was always too busy! But finally, I found a reason to do it – and the benefits are finally paying off! Not particularly in weight loss, but in mood enhancement and the flow on benefits of greater focus and clearer mental agility – I never thought this would be the result of exercise!

Exercise

Like a lot of others struggling with a life time of weight gain, I’ve tried nearly every diet. It’s changing now, but the early diet experts all seemed to consider exercise to be as important as counting calories.

But, I found exercise did very little to help my weight loss. I saw it as ‘one more thing to do in an already busy life’. Until recently, my exercise consisted mainly of opportunities for social connection: walking, mainly with my husband which was/is a time when we enjoy just being together, chatting about our life; and a gym class (a Ready and Able class to help me with balance and strength) followed by coffee at our local café with gym buddies. These are cemented in as part of my exercise regime. I bought a Pilates Reformer and added some Pilates exercises – which I love. Other than that, my home based efforts were sporadic and gardening was the only consistent at home ‘exercise’.

Lately though, I’ve been learning about exercise as a way of managing dopamine levels. This learning has been an eye opener. The principles actually make a lot of sense to me.

I’m not going into the theory/practice in any detail – just an outline, with resources for you to check. I’d be interested to see if you feel the same.

Apparently, over a third of the US population were born with what Dr Kenneth Blum calls Reward deficiency syndrome (RDS). Such a high percentage of the population with RDS means this deficiency can be viewed as normal, not abnormal.

So what is RDS? Briefly, it’s a dopamine deficiency, either acquired genetically or can result from prolonged stress.

In her YouTube channel, Dr Sarah Zaldivar shares her research that focuses on raising the dopamine baseline to correct this imbalance of Dopamine in the brain. In this YouTube video, she discusses what it means to be born with a Dopamine Deficiency Disorder. She has a lot of research to support her work that I won’t go into here.

Her methodology is to increase our dopamine baseline with exercise. I think you’ll find her work fascinating as well.

Now I understand exercise is not just for weight loss. It’s a tool to increase my mood. A happier mood for me means I control my comfort and binge eating, particularly when I’m experiencing challenges. Instead, I’ll be able to laugh them off. Certainly I’m finding I am more productive and happier.

Dr Zaldivar explains it better than I ever could. If this concept interests you, I encourage you to watch her videos.

If you have found exercise to be particularly helpful for you, in any way at all, please share in our Facebook Reader’s Group. I love to hear your stories.

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AN ADDICT IN THE FAMILY – A MOTHER’S TALE OF HEARTBREAK, COURAGE, AND RESILIENCE

You can order a copy from Amazon here

If you know someone who might enjoy, please share the link. If you are in New Zealand, you might prefer to purchase the print version directly through my website www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com or email me​ at Stephanie@StephanieHammondAuthor.com​

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