A “C” Word I’m grateful for.Dear Reader A Brief CommentIt’s a long discussion about my choice of C word for this newsletter. I debated whether to make it even longer! Fear is so inhibiting and I mention two – my fears of drowning and of heights. My discussion centres on the drowning one. But I could have doubled the length and written just as much, or more! about my fear of heights. Let me know if you want to hear what I did to overcome that fear as well. Certainly a balloon ride was among the things I did.
“C” Word – ControlThe balloon ride brought this C word to mind – Control. For a major part of my life I was plagued with fear – particularly fear of drowning and fear of heights. I was aware of having no control in these areas of my experiences. Today I use these fears, and overcoming them, as an analogy for many other aspects of life. I overcame those fears. I can do ‘this’ too! When I was about four-years-old I was swamped by a massive wave and nearly drowned. For a long time I wouldn’t go deeper than my knees in the sea, preferring to paddle in the rock pools or in the shallows. This fear stayed with me for decades until one day we were at our friends house for a pool party. I dressed in my swimmers but declined invitations to get in the pool. That was how I controlled my fear. All of a sudden I was picked up by the pool owner and he jumped into the pool with me. I was so shocked and frightened, I threw up. I was mortified and embarrassed. I decided then that I had to do something about this fear. It took a long time. At first I took swimming lessons but I couldn’t relax. Years later, I’d gone through a soul destroying relationship breakup and cast around in my heart and mind for something to give me comfort and strength. I remembered a family trip to Cairns when I was eight. We went out to the Great Barrier Reef in a glass bottomed boat and visited an underwater observatory. I was so enthralled with the underwater world I thought “One day I’m going to swim amongst the fishes.” Now, 30 years or so later, I remembered that promise to myself and how enthralled I was with what I saw. I enrolled in a scuba diving course. One of the conditions was that I must be able to swim. Proof was required – swim 25 metres in the local pool. I practiced diving and swimming underwater. I passed the test and I went on to dive in the sea off Tuhua/Mayor Island in the Bay of Plenty. It was another decade before I learned to swim in the Papakura pool. I learned a lot about control over the years of living with my fear of drowning. Control doesn’t come through hanging on tight. Control comes through letting go – letting go and trusting.
I was blessed with diving instructors who were not fooled by my bravado. They knew I couldn’t swim. They also knew I had a soul need to learn to dive. They were as proud of me for achieving freedom from my fears as I was. And I was blessed with a swimming instructor at Papakura Massey Pools. Jane Logan has a way with teaching fraidy cats how to swim and she gave me so much confidence I learned – freestyle, backstroke and breaststroke! I learned that control, in some weird way, comes through letting go of the need to be in control. I have the freedom of knowing I am safe in the water. I don’t scuba dive any more. And I don’t swim in the sea either. But it’s because of the cold, not because of fear. And I don’t swim in chlorinated pools. There’s a difference – now my choice is not rooted in fear of drowning. An Event Reminder
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This is an amazing event that I’m thrilled to participate in this year. I’ll be sharing a table with Pat Backley, who’s books I adore.
The event is billed as: a book event where readers can meet over 70 authors, buy books, and have them signed in person. Multiple genres, from NZ and Australian authors. All ages welcome. Free entry.
Facebook page for the event is: https://www.facebook.com/groups/agesofpagesfans
My thought for Living Life in 2024 and beyond:
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the best day of the year”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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